Paved with Good Intentions: A Nat and Alyssa Story - Part Eight

[naughtylilgirl09]

Paved with Good Intentions: A Nat and Alyssa Story – Part Eight

Nat looked down at the small girl curled up in his lap. When he’d woke up that morning, he hadn’t been sure what would be waiting for him. Whether he’d be dealing with temper tantrums and flying insults and sarcasm or if he’d see the Alyssa that he was used to. While this was Alyssa, she was different. She was more vulnerable than he’d seen her in a long while.

“We are going to have to talk about what happened,” he said to her.

“I know,” she replied. “I really am sorry.”

“I know that,” Nat told her, realizing that the ‘events’ of the day were beginning, whether he was ready or not. “I know you’re sorry, Alyssa,” he repeated, simultaneously pulling her away from his chest and lifting her up. He adjusted her on his lap, positioning her so that she was sitting further away from his chest. That way, he could see and talk to her. “I do,” he assured her, brushing a piece of hair back from her face.

“There are some behavior items that were not acceptable, which you know. I know that you’re sorry for them. Just like, I know you’re not going to give me any trouble when it comes to accepting your punishment,” he looked at her.

“No, sir,” she shook her head. “No trouble, I promise.”

Nat gave her a small smile. “I’ve decided that instead of going to my family’s house, we’re going to spend the time here. Over the next couple of days, we’re going to talk about each item of behavior, and I mean talk, with our mouths.”

He heard her stifle a giggle.

“Then, after the talking is done, we’ll mete out a proper punishment for each one,” he continued.

He could see that Alyssa was confused. “What is it,” he nodded his assent for her to ask a question.

“It’s just that your family retreat is close to ten days,” she began and then faded out.

Nat wasn’t going to finish her question for her.

“Well, I mean, if over the next day or two is when you’re going to punish me, then what about the rest of the time?” She managed, letting out a large breath after the last word.

He knew that had been difficult for her to ask. Reaching out, he took her hand and gently squeezed it. “The rest of the time,” he put two fingers under her chin and raised her head up. “You and I are going to spend some time together.”

He almost laughed when he saw the wary look on her face. “It won’t be all bad, Lyssa,” he told her. “We both need to review everything that we talked about, during that first storm when you stayed at my house.

Nat could see that didn’t help. “Plus, I haven’t seen you for six weeks,” he continued. “I’d like to hear what’s been going on in your life. I’m sure there is a lot I need to catch up on. We won’t spend the entire time talking about behavior items, I promise. However, we’re going to slowly go over the basics of things.”

“Why does that sound like it’s going to hurt,” she asked, quietly.



“Why does that sound like it’s going to hurt,” Alyssa asked him. She was surprised when he laughed.

“As long as you do your best, it won’t be as horrible as you’re imagining,” he told her.

Somehow, Alyssa didn’t quite believe him. He seemed to realize that too. “I’ll tell you what,” Nat said to her. “Here’s what we’ll do. Stand up for a moment.”

Alyssa got up off his lap and watched as he went and got something from some random drawer, it looked like it was part of a desk. He came back and sat down at the table again. When she saw him motion for her to sit with him, she went to him.

But she was almost cautious or even afraid. It was a strange feeling. She hadn’t felt that was around Nat in a long time. Slowly, she made her way over to him. If he was upset by how slow she was moving, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he picked her up and placed her on his lap. Right back where she had been.

Her attention moved to the table, or really, what he’d retrieved from the desk, which was sitting on the table. It was a notepad and pen. She watched as Nat took the pen and wrote on the very top of the page: ‘Discussions/Punishments’.

“Now,” he handed her the pen. Alyssa didn’t want the pen. She already knew what he was going to have her do. “I’ll stay with you,” he told her. “However, I want you to take a few minutes and write out a list of everything that we need to discuss from yesterday. All right?”

She felt herself nod, dumbly. List everything? What if she couldn’t remember everything?

A second later Nat cleared his throat, “All right,” he asked, his voice just a bit louder.

“Yes, sir,” she answered him, her mind now back with the current task.

“Better,” he replied. “Now, should I move this chair closer to the table?”

“Yes, please,” she nodded her head. The chair moved forward a few inches and Alyssa was able to reach, and write on, the notepad, on the table.

She stared at it for a few minutes. It wasn’t really a notepad, it was a legal pad. The kind made with white paper instead of yellow paper. It was always strange that they were called legal pads, even though they were 8 ½ by 11, which was letter size. Alyssa caught herself before her mind wandered to the notebook section of the office supply store.

‘Discussions/Punishments’. She really was supposed to write them all out? Yes, that was the point, her inner voice answered. Putting the pen to paper, she began to write.

Discussions/Punishments
Attitude in the car and being disrespectful during a conversation, the first time.
Then the attitude after we pulled back on the road, which eventually caused Nat to pull off to the side of the road again.
Refusing to get out of the car
Kicking the inside of the car
Causing myself to bleed
Smart-mouthed comments from the back seat
Comments and singing while going to the house – Nat did punish me for that
Comments while Nat was carrying me into the house
Snarky comments before Nat went upstairs
Refusing to accept that Nat wasn’t going to punish me, and not going to bed like Nat told me to
Talk about the lesson that I’m supposed to learn
Yelling at Nat
Slamming doors and yelling

Alyssa tapped each item with the pen, as she quickly counted them. Thirteen. There were thirteen things there. Somehow, she was certain that Nat would have more to add. That thought made her nervous. Would he be mad that she didn’t get them all? Though slightly hesitant, she turned to Nat and handed him the notepad.

He glanced at it and nodded his head. “That first one you have listed, that’s two separate items, wouldn’t you think?” He had turned the notepad so it was at an angle where they could both see it.

Alyssa read it over and nodded, catching sight of the small frown that appeared on Nat’s face. “Yes, sir, I think so, too,” she quickly corrected herself. “May I please have the notepad so I can correct it?”

He handed it to her, and she turned, setting it back on the table and grabbing the pen. Scratching out the first line, she drew an arrow and rewrote it as two separate items on the right side of the paper. Then she turned and gave the pad back to him.

They remained there for over an hour. Nat continued mentioning things or asking questions. He’d bring something up that would lead to a discussion and she’d end up adding something. Alyssa found herself with a page of scribbles, arrows, scratched out words, words that had been written over and bolded, and a lot of chicken scratch.

“So, what do we have,” Nat asked her.

Alyssa burst out laughing.


Alyssa burst out laughing, which surprised him. She couldn’t seem to stop either. “Alyssa,” Nat asked, inserting a tone of warning into his voice.

She put her hand to her chest, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she told him. Then she began laughing again.

Nat raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat. “I’m so sorry,” she said, obviously attempting to get control of her laughter. She handed him the notepad, hand pressed to her chest, forcing herself to calmly breathe in and then out.

Nat immediately saw why she’d been laughing. If circumstances had been different, he would have been laughing right along with her. What she had was a strange coded map of scribbled Alyssa-ese scrawl, that somehow equated to actual writing.

He kept his voice quiet. The one thing he always had to remember about Alyssa, was it only took going one tiny notch above normal volume and she equated it to yelling. Because of that, he aimed for quiet and stern, rather than loud and commanding.

“Young lady, do you find the level of disobedience you displayed to be amusing,” he asked her, his tone conveying his displeasure. He tossed the notepad on the table, the sound surprising her and shaking her out of the laughing spell.

“No, sir,” she replied. While she might have said the words, the respect was not there.

“I think you may want to try that again,” Nat suggested, taking her chin in his hand. Turning her head towards him, he looked into her eyes. He could see that she was going to challenge him on this one. This time, it was Alyssa. Not, Alyssa acting like Alicia.

“No, sir,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm and a southern accent, that she’d dug up from who knows where.

Nat felt his eyebrows shoot up.

“You became a southern belle overnight, did you?” he asked her. She opened her mouth to reply, but he continued. “No, no talking.” Nat lifted her off his lap and placed her on her feet.


“No! No talking!” Nat told her. Alyssa was ready to tell him exactly what he could do with that idea, but she didn’t get the chance. He lifted her to her feet, as he stood up. She had all of two seconds to get her balance before he’d picked her up again and was carrying her somewhere. She didn’t have a clue where. Not that there were many places to go in the small downstairs area.

She found out soon enough. Nat and his long legs, it only took a step and a half for him, before he had crossed half the room and placed her in front of a wall. “Feet apart,” he told her. Alyssa sighed to herself, then realized she’d sighed out loud. She hadn’t meant to do that. She tried to turn to explain that to Nat but stopped her. She didn’t even make a quarter turn. “Nose to the wall,” he told her, his voice stern.

Alyssa bit the inside of her cheek to stop the sigh from coming out that time. She spread her feet 18 inches apart and made sure her toes touching the floorboards. Moving her arms behind her back, she grabbed ahold of her elbows. Nat was looming over her. It was odd that he hadn’t left yet.

“So far, we’ve had a good morning,” he said to her, his voice quiet. “I realize that you’re getting anxious. You’re writing a list of the things you need to be punished for. I realize that the list is long. In no way, do I look forward to administering any of those punishments.”

Alyssa was surprised when she heard him sigh. “I’m going to start making lunch. You are going to stand here and think about how you want to behave when I provide you another opportunity to answer that question. We’ll see if your attitude has changed in about ten minutes.”

She expected him to walk away, but Nat was lingering. It was strange. Never, ever had he lingered. Usually, he just ordered her into the corner. She felt him run his hand over her head and then heard him sigh, again. “I don’t want another reason to spank you, Alyssa Marie.”

Then, he left. It was odd. The whole thing was odd. Alyssa wanted to find it weird and use it as a reason or excuse to rebel against him. But, she couldn’t. Especially since his words had caused a few tears to fall from her eyes.

The ten minutes went faster than she expected. Nat came back to her, which was also different. Normally, he called her over to him. She almost jumped out of her skin when he placed his hand on her shoulder. Once she realized he was there, she waited for him to turn her towards him. Instead, he stood over her again. “All right, young lady,” his voice was back to the no-nonsense tone. “Given your previous laughing fit, tell me, do you find your level of disobedience to be amusing?”

“No, sir,” Alyssa answered respectfully. It was like the magic words. Nat guided her away from the wall and told her she could release her arms. Alyssa looked up at him, “I’m sorry, Nat. I’m sorry for not being respectful the first time.”

She surprised herself when she threw her arms around him. He chuckled and enveloped her in a hug. “You’re all right, I promise,” he assured her. “I accept your apology, Lyssa. You’re all right.”

“No, I’m not,” she cried into his chest. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Nat replied. She felt him attempting to remove her arms from her tight hold around him. She realized that he was going to pick her up and let go of his waist, reached up and put her arms around his neck. He chuckled as he picked her up and went over to the small living room part of the cabin. It was a love seat, chair, and a coffee table. But, when you don’t have a lot of space, that wasn’t bad. Plus, Alyssa thought to herself, it was the perfect size for her. Nat sat down and held her close, Alyssa was still crying, grateful that he was holding her close.

“You’re okay,” he said to her, rubbing slow circles on her back. “I promise, Alyssa, everything will be okay.”

“I know,” she said, tears still flowing.

“You do,” Nat’s voice sounded slightly concerned. “Well then, sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“I’m not going to be able to sit down for a month,” Alyssa said and burst into another set of tears.


“I’m not going to be able to sit down for a month,” Alyssa sobbed into his chest. Nat couldn’t help chuckling at that.

“Oh, I think it will be sooner than that,” he said, running his hand over her head. “Finding that list to be a little daunting?”

He felt her nod and then heard her say, “yes, sir.”

Pulling her away from his chest he smiled at her, wiping the tears off her face. “Shh,” he said quietly. “We’ll get through it, I promise.” He saw her attempt to nod confidently. The confidence wasn’t there.

“I tell you what,” he said, lifting her chin, with his index finger and wiping away the remaining tears with his thumb. “I need to finish making lunch. Why don’t you take a seat and write out a readable version of that list?”

Nat could see that she was starting to feel better just by looking in her eyes. He let go of her chin and was pleased with the fact that she continued to look up at him. “If you write it out quickly and clearly, then you can help me put together lunch, yes?”

He knew that would get a smile. Alyssa nodded and gave him a large smile. “Yes, sir, I can do that,” she replied.

“All right, good girl,” Nat lifted her out of his lap and set her on the floor. “Get to it then,” he sent her towards the table with a swat on her bottom. When her hands flew back to her bottom, he laughed. “Go on, Lyssa. You may sit on the pillow.”

Her hands left her bottom and she walked over to the table. Nat watched as she pulled out the chair and glanced at the pillow and looked over at him. “It’s all right Lyssa,” he nodded. “Go ahead.”

She was hesitant, he could see that. There had been times when any nervousness or hesitation had displayed itself as disrespect or arguing. Nat decided that it was a sign of progress, instead of arguing that there was a catch or some kind of trick, or backtalking to him, Alyssa had sat down on the pillow and begun to write. Nat watched her for a moment and then stood up and walked across the room to the kitchen area.

It wasn’t a complicated meal. He purposely worked at a slower than normal pace, wanting to provide her the opportunity to help with the meal. Making sandwiches and heating up soup was a relatively quick process, and while he tried, there was a certain extent to which he could slow it down. He finished making lunch, just as he saw Alyssa set down the pen.

“Finish writing,” he asked her.

“Yes, sir,” she replied. He could tell she was about to get up from the chair.

“Stay there, Lyssa,” he told her. By the look on her face, it was obvious that she knew what had happened.

“It’s time to eat,” she asked him.

“That’s right,” Nat affirmed, putting the plate of sandwiches down on the table, along with one bowl of soup. “Move the notepad, please.”

He went back to the kitchen and picked up the other bowl, along with silverware and walked back to the table. Placing the bowl in front of her, he took a seat. Nat handed Alyssa one of the soup spoons and napkins that he had grabbed, and then pulled his chair in further. It was very quiet for a few moments as they both ate their meal.

Nat knew that he ate faster than Alyssa. Everyone ate faster than Alyssa. Well, that wasn’t completely true. Alyssa either ate ridiculously, unimaginably fast or painstakingly slow. That day, and most days, she ate slow. Though, he’d seen her nearly inhale a hamburger.

After he’d eaten half of his meal, it seemed like a good idea to give her time to catch up. “Lyssa, hand me the notepad, please,” he said quietly. Nat saw how nervous she looked. He waited to see if she would do so.



“Lyssa, hand me the notepad, please,” Nat said, breaking the silence. Alyssa froze. For some reason, she’d thought they weren’t going to get back to all of the punishments until after lunch. She picked it up and turned to him, holding it out and waiting for him to take it.

“Thank you,” Nat said, as he took it out of her hand and set it down next to his plate. Alyssa just stared at him. Should she stop eating? Were they going to continue going over everything now? Where had she put that pen? “Lyssa,” Nat’s voice broke into her thoughts.

She looked up at him, startled. “Keep eating, sweetheart,” he told her. “I eat a lot faster than you do, so I thought I’d read through this now. That’s all.” She felt her head move up and down, nodding automatically. It wasn’t until he reached out and squeezed her hand that she actually felt better.

He was right, he did eat faster than she did. Eating was one of the few times, same with going to the dentist, where people never said she had a big mouth. The rest of the time, well, she heard that a lot. But not in specific situations. Not when it involved what could go in her mouth. Eating, especially hot soup, that was something that always took her extra time.

She’d already consumed half a sandwich and was working her way through the soup. She’d been disappointed that she hadn’t been able to help with the meal, but maybe it was better. After all, by the time she’d finished writing everything out, there had been twenty-four items on that list. She couldn’t imagine twenty-four punishments in the next couple days.

That’s if it was only twenty-four. Nat probably had a couple more that she hadn’t remembered. She slurped up another spoonful of soup. Well, at least there was one thing that she would get out of this, she thought to herself. For once, once, one time, probably the only time, when it came to the discussions between herself and Nat, she will have been the one that was right. Because Alyssa was confident that she would not be able to sit down for the next month.

Nat watched Alyssa for another few moments and then he turned his attention to the list that she’d written out.

Discussions/Punishments
1. Refusing to put my iPod away
2. Smart mouth comments
3. Screaming and misbehaving - nearly throwing a tantrum in the backseat
4. Telling Nat ‘no’ about giving me a spanking
5. Attitude, smart aleck and rude remarks
6. Locking the door and refusing to get out of the car
7. Kicking the car/breaking the part next to the glove compartment
8. Making smart mouth comments while bare bottom over Nat’s knee
9. Throwing my hand back to protect my bottom
10. Refusing to tell Nat what was causing my behavior
11. Being sarcastic and rude while being punished
12. Digging my nails into my palms causing them to bleed
13. Pouting about sitting in the back seat
14. Smart-aleck and rude comments
15. Refusing to get out of the van
16. Worse attitude and rude comments
17. Circles with the song – Nat already punished me for this
18. Continued disrespectful behavior and smart-mouthed comments
19. Disobedience by not eating dinner
20. Not accepting Nat’s decision not to punish me
21. ACTUAL Discussion (as in talking) to make sure I understand exactly what the lesson is I was supposed to learn last night-just talking?
22. Twisting words and pushing for an argument
23. Yelling at Nat
24. Yelling because I was upset and slamming doors

She’d done a good job of writing out everything. It was a clean copy, her handwriting was neat, she’d numbered everything. Twenty-four items. There was one missing, but that was for after lunch. If he wanted to truly be a hard-ass, he could insist on adding the disrespect from that morning.

Nat thought on it a moment and decided not to. The list that they had to conquer, he intended for it to have meaning. If he began adding behavior items from other days, it would take away from the fact that all of the transgressions occurred because of…? Well, that was the question that he hoped to answer. Yes, her fear. Yes, Alicia. Yes, the dance group. But was that really it, or was there more to it?

Looking over at her, he was surprised that she’d finished eating. Nat wondered just how long he’d been lost in his thoughts. “Full?” he asked Alyssa.

“Yes, sir,” she replied.

“Why don’t you take the dishes and put them in the sink,” he told her. “Then come back and sit with me. We’ll continue with this.”

It might not have been her idea of fun, but Alyssa did as he said.

A couple minutes later she was standing next to him. Nat pushed his chair back and lifted her up in one swift motion. Holding her close, he moved the chair closer to the table. Wrapping his arms around her he kissed the top of her head. “You did a very good job of writing this out,” he told her.

“Thank you, sir,” she said quietly.

“Very good,” he repeated, picking up the notepad and holding it out to her. “There is just one item missing.”

“Very good. There is just one missing,” Nat handed the notepad to her.

Alyssa accepted the notepad and looked at it. One? What else was there? She read what she’d written. Then read everything again. Then, again. Had she done something in her sleep? Sleep! Maybe it was sleep.

Turning her head, Alyssa asked hesitantly, “is it that I slept on the floor?”

Nat chuckled. Normally, hearing that chuckled would make her feel better. This time, it didn’t help. Before he even said the words, she knew that wasn’t the answer. Which meant that she still didn’t know what it was.

“No, Alyssa, it’s not that you slept on the floor,” he told her. “Though, I still want to know how that happened.”

Alyssa nodded and went back to looking at the list. She read it. Then read it again. Then stared at it until she went cross-eyed.

Finally, she looked up at Nat. “I’m sorry, sir,” she said respectfully. “I don’t know what else is missing.”

“No need for ‘sir’,” he said to her. “We’re talking about behavior items, but you aren’t actually in trouble, or being punished at the moment.”

Alyssa nodded. She felt like she was in trouble. Whatever it was that was supposed to be there, she wasn’t figuring it out.

“There is one thing missing,” Nat said.

Alyssa turned her head to look at him, confused suddenly.

“You said ‘you don’t know what else’ is missing,” he told her. “That gives the impression of multiple items. It’s only one.”

“Okay,” Alyssa nodded. “I didn’t mean to give that impression.

“It’s all right,” he told her. Taking her shoulders, he gently turned her back to face the front.

“One thing missing,” Nat told her, picking up the pen and handing it to her. “Though, I will say, that last one could be two separate things. For now, we’re going to focus on the missing item.”

Alyssa gulped. She reread the last line. He was right, that should be two things.

“Nat, I really don’t know what the last one is,” she said quietly.

“That’s all right,” she felt him squeeze her shoulder. “I’m going to tell you.”

Alyssa let out a large breath that she didn’t realize she was holding. “Okay, thank you, sir.”

“It will be right after number 15,” he said. Alyssa glanced through the list. ‘Number 15: Refusing to get out of the van.’ What on earth could he be talking about?

“Okay,” Alyssa said, waiting for him to tell her.

“We’ll call it 15A for now, unless there ends up being another re-write of the list,” Nat continued.

Alyssa realized he was waiting for her to write ‘15A’, so she jotted it down on the right side of the page.

“15 A,” Nat was rubbing both her shoulders. That was not a good sign. If he was rubbing her shoulders, it was because he knew whatever it was would stress her out.