MY MOM READ MY SECRET DIARY!!!

[Eroticbeauty]

MY MOM READ MY SECRET DIARY!!!

-here my first story -

Hi, my name is Susan, I'm twenty years old, and I'm here to tell you what happened to me today. I'm writing in this blog because I hope to receive some kind of comprehension from people that maybe lived similar experience. I have to vent, my mind is overwhelmed by thousands of different feelings and thoughts. I'm really confused, I didn't expect something like that could happen to me. I don't even know, at the end, if it was a good thing or not, so I want to start from the beginning. I want to revive the experience with you, in order to analyze better every aspect of the fact.
I have a secret diary, since I was eighteen years old. That time I was a very fragile girl, with a lot of social disease, I was super insicure about everything, so I felt the need to refuge in a world of my own, where I was free to create and to live a parallel reality, with my imaginary friends, and my imaginary boyfriends. It was a lot easier like that, and in a certain kind of way, it was like I was living those things for real...I started to believe in the opportunity to exit from one dimension and enter in one another, more comfortable for me, because it was me deciding everything. No one could reply, or say something that I didn't want to hear.
Now, to be honest, nothing changed.
I still lie to my parents everyday. The friends I hang out with don't exist, the boyfriend I love doesn't exist.
Every time I say to my parents I'm going to see him, or her, or whoever, in truth I just walk around the city, alone, imagining to be in my diary.
Outside of it I'm scared of people, I fear their judgment.
At the university I don't talk to anyone. (I'm studying chemistry because at high school I was good in that subject, but I don't like it, while I told to my parents that I'm happy of what I'm doing.)
I'm a total disaster. I think I'm going to be unsatisfied for the rest of my life. I have no certainties.
However, today my only safe place in the world it has discovered by my mom...
For the first time in my life I forgot to hide it. I leaved it on my desk, last night, so tired that I didn't think about it.
This morning (it's Sunday, so my mom stayed at home/ my dad is out of town on business) she entered in my room while I was sleeping, and she found it.
When I woke up immediately I remembered of my diary. When I stared at the desk, and I didn't see it, I was tempted to scream. I was paralyzed and shocked. Then I started trembling. I wanted to die.
I spent half an hour thinking what to do, what to say. But there were no solutions, or excuses.
I got out of bed, and I went to the kitchen, hearing my mom was there.
I looked at her with such shame...she was seated at the table, with my diary opened in front of her.
Her eyes were pure fire. She was angry, of course, and terribly disappointed.
"Who are you, Susan?" she asked me, as if she was about to cry.
A second after two big tears fell down her cheeks.
It was horrible to see her in that condition because of me, her only daughter.
"Come over her, sit down, I want an explanation. Talk to me, Susan, and tell me the truth. Why did you hide it to me all this time?"
"Here you say you hate yourself...you hate us...is..." she wasn't even able to continue the sentence.
I wanted to hug her, but I didn't find the courage. I was standing in front of her like a statue, with no heart, no soul, nothing at all.
Then I sat down at the table, next to her. I said to her it was not her fault. And suddenly I felt relieved. Been discovered was maybe my salvation. For two long hours I talked to her of everything, totally honest. And she listened to me of course in pain, but also supported by the fact I was opening my self to her with no lies anymore.
"I'm so sorry I didn't notice anything...What kind of a mother am I?...I'm..." she went down like this for the entire morning.
Then we prepared lunch together, in silence. We ate without saying a word.
When we finished, something in her look, in her expression was changed, like she was back in her right mind.
"From now on things in this house are going to be different, Susan. And tomorrow I'll call a psychologist, because you need to talk with someone who can help you."
"I don't need to talk with..." I tried to reply, but she stopped me with a terrible glance.
"You do exactly what I say, Susan. I don't want you to talk back today. Do not think to get away with that.
There'll be consequences for what you've done. Now go to your room, and wait for me, while I think about your punishment..."
"Mom...what the hell are you saying?!"
"Shut up and do as you're told!" she yelled.
I couldn't recognize her anymore. She was different. She never talked to me like that before. I ran into my room, scared as death. What was going to happen?
"What does it mean she has to think about my punishment?"
I'm not a child!
But at the same time, an internal voice said to me that maybe a punishment was exactly what I deserved all that time.
Some discipline, some control.
I felt guilty to have waisted my entire life for something that didn't even exist.
Fantasy was not helping me, anyway.
So I waited for my mother an entire hour, in my bed, hoping she was going to find a real solution to bring me back to reality.
WhenI heard her opening the door, I turned around and I saw her. She seemed to me so sorry and angry at the same time.
She sat next to me in my bed.
"I'm going to be direct with you, Susan, cause I think you need me to be firm, at this point. I love you, and I cannot let you continue to live like that. You lied to us all the time, and this is why I'm going to punish you today. Because I want you to understand that what you've done is wrong. You could have just talk to us, but you preferred to escape from everything, like you were a child. It's unacceptable, at your age. It's time for a change, and it starts right now. You're going to take a good sound spanking, Susan."
I looked at her like she stubbed me in my stomach.
"Mom..."
"Get over my knee, now."
In another occasion I would have laugh at her, indeed, in that moment, I was totally agree with her.
I always acted like I was I child, and now, I must be punished for what I've done, just like a child.
She had all the rights, because she's my mom.
Without any replies I bent over her knee, ready to be spanked for the first time in my life.
Ready to learn my lesson.
"I should have done it long ago" she said, staring at me in that position.
Then she started spanking me, fast and hard.
It was really painful since the first smacks.
I started to cry immediately, not just for the pain, but also for the shame, because my mother was really spanking me, now that I have twenty years old. Me over her knee, helpless, with all my mistakes, all my faults. Crying, screaming, shaking my head as I was possessed by an evil presence, trembling and dancing under my mother smacks. It was terrible.
My bottom after just five minutes was already on fire. I didn't think a spanking could hurt so bad.
"Oh mom, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry" I was yelling at her, but I never asked her to stop.
I was glad of what she was doing, and it was doing great.
For the first time she was taking control and she was teaching me the most severe lesson to learn: how to live a life.
It lasted half an hour, I looked at the watch.
At the end I was without voice, with my sore bottom burning like hell.
But it was not finished.

To be continued.

[19910824]

More please. Wish my mom had handled reading my diary that way, but she refused to even speak to me. This maybe why I'm always looking for that support today. Good luck!