From the Suppressed Files of the U.S. Lighthouse Service

eiffel · Post by **eiffel** » Fri Feb 04, 2011 3:28 pm

(c)2011 Eiffel
"From the Suppressed Files of the US Lighthouse Service"

To: Secretary of Interior
From: Inspector General
Per: Archive review

Dear Mr. Secretary,

Recently your office asked us to conduct a review of certain sensitive allegations about the historic activities of the United States Lighthouse Service, particularly those of its predecessor, the "Lighthouse Board". While the the office is itself defunct, the Department of the Interior has succeeded to its obligations, and maintains its historical archive in Greenbelt. After review, it is the opinion of the Inspector General that these archives not be opened to the public, due to their prurient nature.

When asked to perform our review of the materials in the Greenbelt Federal Archive, we were aware of certain salacious articles appearing in the popular press, notably "Pagan Rituals at the Nag's Head Light?" in Carolina Folkways Magazine, and "Flagellation at Narragansett Light" in "New England Historical Journal". I regret to inform your that, as improbable as it may seem, most of the allegations in these accounts turn out to be well substantiated.

Review of the records of the United States Lighthouse Service shows that when in 1834, Angus Breame became Superintendent of the Lighthouse Board, a number of practices familiar to him from his childhood in the Orkney islands, but decidedly alien to Christian decency were instituted.

It may seem difficult to understand for a modern man, but sailors of the last century were profoundly superstitious men, and one of the abiding beliefs of the North Sea sailors was
"the girl made lovely by sorrow quells the storm", and more vulgarly, "the slattern's tears will sly down the vexy sea".

What we find is that Superintendant Breame indulged this belief, and in his "Letter to Keepers" (June 21, 1829) he instructs them: "Provision will be made to house 'keeners' for the purposes of easing storms. You will be provided with a healthy girl, and be required to keep her in good health, and to beat her when the storms come in."

In fact, we find that this practice was widespread, and even reached popular culture, the vulgar song of the 1840s "I saw Buchanan's Mother at the Lighthouse" being perhaps the best known.

Most embarrassingly, our courts seem to have participated wholeheartedly, Judges offering young women the opportunity to expunge their offense with "a term at the Lighthouse". One suspects that the poor girls knew only hints of what would befall them there.

Perhaps it would be better if I quote from the narrative of Meredith Whitty, of the Methodist Mission to Fallen Women, as her first hand account is both well documented, and gives a sense of immediacy:

"April 3, 1858: Another unfortunate, Rose Bumble tells us her story. She is a stout and healthy girl, and thought she cannot be sure of her age, we would judge it as 22 or 23 years. Apprehended by the police, she was given a choice of the workhouse or the Lighthouse: She chose the latter. She explained to us that the Lighthouse Keeper treated her gently at first, insisting that she eat well .. ."A Lighthouse Jenny must keep herself in fat for the storms" was his motto. In fact, he was shamefully insistent on -- and every instinct of decency must be suppressed to honesty in documenting this outrage -- the dimensions of her buttocks. She was required to eat everything on her plate, nutrition that would give her "the flogging hips" that the Keeper demanded.

It seems that the Keeper was in the thrall of a depraved tradition of the Sea, from people who know not God, I should think. Ignorant sailors, living in fear of the Typhoon, would idle away their lazy days, making a cruel whip of whalebone, carefully inscribing it with the name of their vessel, and then binding it with the intricate ropework that is second nature to them.

These dreadful instruments would be sealed in a barrel, usually with a gold coin or some other emolument for the Keeper, and tossed over the rail of the ship, while lying off the lighthouse. On occasion, seas permitting, the whip would be rowed in, but this was less common, says Rose.

During ordinary times, Rose would be occupied with routine tasks around the Lighthouse, and she accounts that "the Keeper was right with me" at those times.

But when a storm came up, that was when the cruel heathen custom was reprised.

Rose tells us that before a storm, she was fed a big meal, "steak and eggs for the keener" -- and then stripped bare and bound over a platform by the light. The outrage of this cannot be gainsayed. Rose is a healthy girl, and her Keeper had maintained her and made sure of the adequacy of her hips for the shameful purpose, stripping her bare and leaving her in a state alien to decent thought, oiling her with whale grease and maintain her in this position for hours for the sole purpose of her corporal chastisement. No "improvement" of any kind was sought, no mercy was offered, Rose Bumble was told that her purpose was to present her buttocks to the "matey's lash" and to cry out with all her lungs' force.

As the storm broke, the Keeper would administer a beating with the whips left by passing ships. The Keeper was insistent -- the girl must be made to howl above the storm, enduring a harsh beating from each of the whips. As her Keeper told her "all those sailors, out there in the Typhoon, its a keener's howl that'll bring them safely home"
-----------------

As regrettable as it is to admit it, this narrative seems to be well substantiated, and we therefore recommend that the files of the Lighthouse Board remain closed, due to their discreditable interest.

Yours sincerely

D.C. Scruggs
Instpector General

calliope_1 · Post by **calliope_1** » Sat Feb 05, 2011 4:08 am

Hee hee hee hee. I love history! Very funny story, and you caught the right "voice" of the writings of those days perfectly! Do you have more stories here?

eiffel · Post by **eiffel** » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:24 pm

calliope_1 wrote:Hee hee hee hee. I love history! Very funny story, and you caught the right "voice" of the writings of those days perfectly! Do you have more stories here?

calliope_1 · Post by **calliope_1** » Mon Feb 07, 2011 2:04 am

Cheesy person that I am, I decided to go for the "Not Gouda" story first- I also love humor in stories, as you can tell. The phrase" like the vandalized statuary of the ancient world had deposited its Herculean castrations here in an Amsterdam sex shop vitrine. " has to be one of the most BRILLIANT uses of the English language I have seen in ages!!! The whole story was wonderful and completely drew me in- there are other sections that I admire as far as sheer writing craftsmanship as well, but that one really , um...popped out for me. *grin*
I've been to the Netherlands and Amsterdam a few times too...never went to that part of town though! I will read and comment on the others when I get a chance, (it is 5 am here) pity they are closed to comments.

From the Suppressed Files of the U.S. Lighthouse Service

From the Suppressed Files of the U.S. Lighthouse Service

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