First Meeting

[justpecause]

A domme who's thinking about punishing me asked me to write her my suggestions about what we should cover during our first real time meeting. I wrote her the following:

Before the disciplinary action starts we need to first meet for lunch or coffee and sit down to establish things. It’s part of how I commit and give-in, and you should use it to strengthen your initial hold on me. You need to insist that I agree to two required conditions before your willingness to proceed. In order for you to accept me and invest your time, effort, and talent performing the role as my disciplinarian, you must require that I give you two formal statements. You have to require me to unconditionally surrender to you for the full length of the session, and insist that I state this agreement to you, and not merely nod or answer “yes.” And then you must insist that I promise to fully obey your commands and continually enable you to administer the full extent of your chosen punishment by staying in position for you at all times. You must make me promise you, with crystal clarity, that I will not hinder you in any way at any time from punishing me as you deem necessary. Further, you should explain that my surrender means that I will have no rights; only obligations, whereas it entitles you with the unconditional rights to command me, control me, and punish me to your full satisfaction and optimal enjoyment.

You need to make me give you those agreements because they give you the control you need to fulfil your two underlying goals. First, you have to be able to punish me effectively enough for it to result in curing my misbehavior. The problem with corporal punishment is that we humans tend naturally and easily to forget pain. So it has to be severe enough for me to remember to relate it to my stupid bad habitual behavior that we’re working together to change. Your other goal is what motivates your compulsion and I know I have to let you satisfy that or else face the certainty of getting sorely rejected thus losing this opportunity to indulge in my compulsive desire to surrender and experience the disciplinary punishment I know I deserve. You need to gratify a special thirst for power that you can only awaken by exercising your sadistic and dominant nature. And so I need to let you exploit the control you made me give you to maximally enjoy getting to punish me.

So during our initial negotiations we should review that you violating me with the intensity, duration, and method of your choosing will be an important element that I’ll face with certainty. If you don’t violate my pain threshold, it’s not really punishment and so you have to in order to carry out your duties as disciplinarian, plus you want to. The obstacle is that once you start violating me, I’ll no longer want to obey you. I won’t want to comply and will feel that I desperately need you to stop. I’ll very-much want to prevent you to merely continue at some current wicked pain level that triggers my intolerance while the reality that you’ll know and I’ll speculate is that you’re actually going to escalate that level, probably greatly. My obvious reaction would be to obstruct you and escape out of position. This is the reason to formalize my surrender and irrevocable obedience, make me agree in advance that I have no right to hinder you no matter how bad it is for me, and promise to honor the control over me that I explicitly granted you. If my sufferance makes me temporarily forget thus causing me to inappropriately renege, simply remind me of my obligation to you, how important it is to honor my word, and to work together with you to achieve what we set out to accomplish. I will instantly fall back in line and probably be able to take what I knew damn well I was getting myself into without further interrupting your efforts.

I assume that my reflexive moaning, crying, screaming, and flailing is allowed and that you probably consider it applause so long as I don’t interfere with your administration. But I will ask you to grant me two rights. When I hurt horribly and I’m struggling to accept your wicked violations while honoring my promises, I would like the right to say or even holler “no” as many times as I want and to be allowed to say no in as demanding or as rebellious a fashion as I like. And I want the right to verbalize as if to ask, suggest, demand, and even command as if I have authority, for you to stop whatever you’re doing. I want the right to express these without retribution of being punished. Of course, you will have no obligation to grant my wishes. If I do exercise these rights, you’ll know I’m at an extremely high desperation level, far beyond my tolerance. In fact you might enjoy its contribution to your indulgence violating me or at least let it reveal the approximate effectiveness level you’re achieving. I’ve been allowed to say these things in the past and it may seem to help me deal at certain moments. However realizing its pathetic revelation to you, I won’t want to add to my own humiliation unless I’m beyond recognizing mortification.