Looping Across The County Line (bit long...)

[gshaunm]

very very long. Sean took up too much room if you were going to get his bare butt blistered every time. The aunt should have taken the girl down teen trail and spanked her and left her there nude for others to spank - or stood her nude againt the bathroom wall. Why have that if the aunt isn't going to use it on either kid? You explain the nudity by having the aunt ask her to where a tight sundress and making her take it off thebn saying that her soaks and bra look out of place. And GSM is right - learn to spell!

Hold up there John. I didn't say GG needed to learn how to spell. I said typos. Even professional authors have proof readers and editors check their manuscripts for typos, sentence structure, and basically good grammar. GoodGulf has been here for 10 years and posted many many great stories.

[johncook]

Then he should know how to do it right,

[goodgulf]

very very long.

Yes, it was. Which is why I mentioned that in the subject line.

And thank you for taking the time to comment. I'll try to address all of your concerns.

As mentioned, having the Aunt spank would have stressed the story line.

Having Sean spanked constantly, that would have stretched things. His parents were non-spanking (because I didn't want anyone connected to Dana to be pro-spanking) and I needed to have a reason of why they would risk his backside. Partway through I came up with the idea of an inheritance to keep him in the scene - otherwise Katie wouldn't be driving every weekend Dana would have had to kick in all the gas money. Why didn't I want a pro-spanker connected to Dana? Because some spanking happens in Wellington County and I wanted her to be mostly ignorant of it, not thinking "spankings are what Sean's family use to keep him in line.". Worse, if Sean was spanked at home he would have been "so kids get spanked here? whatever" instead of distracting his aunt by trying to spy on spankings.

I did consider leaving Dana down that path without a stitch of clothes on - but I couldn't figure out how to get her out of that situation. Her aunt couldn't have saved her without starting the "you're into spanking, aren't you?" conversation early and I couldn't think of another character to get her out of that situation.

As for typos, I'm honest about them. There are times when I'm reading a story I've written that I literally can't see them because my mind (which knows what I meant to say) is filling in details. Seriously, when others have helped by flagging typos I've looked at - nay, studied the original sentence and the corrected one side by side and not been able to see the difference for the first four or five reads.

If you would like to volunteer to proofread, I'll send you text versions of this and other stories that I'm working on. And that is an open offer to any who would like to help proofread - I'll take you up on that offer.

Goodgulf

[nray999]

Long but worth it. The special spanking clothes are some of the things I like the most about this world, your Sylvan stories and the returnee world. There is something about the idea of pants designed to be pulled down that really presses a button. I was pleasantly surprised to find a new full length story from you, I hope this means you have the time and creativity to wrap up the world hopping story too.

[goodgulf]

Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Actually, this was written as I was struggling with the final 1/3 of the World Hopping story. I basically have to finish inventing a new setting, one where Jackie returns to the other world as an adult. Of course she can't meet anyone she met there the first time (not without revealing the smuggling operation) so I need an entire new cast of characters for her to meet.

In someways, it's almost like starting a new story.

Goodgulf

[goodgulf]

Just a note:
Just spent several hours editing this one. Fixed countless typos, inserted missing words, rewrote sentences that didn't make sense, and occasionally added things.

And just edited it again. One of the things my outline called for was five weekends in July but instead of that I had two first weeks of August. One has been relabeled with the correct heading. I can't believe I've edited this story as much as I have and I missed that until now.

Goodgulf

[goodgulf]

Found and fixed another typo. The first week of July was wrongly titled as the first week of August.

Odd that I didn't spot that until now.

Goodgulf

[alice18]

great story. would have been nice if when Dana had got corner time, her aunt had found her, and instead of letting her out she kept turning the hour glass over every time it was about to run out.

[goodgulf]

That would have been interesting. Maybe next summer her aunt will tell her "Remember when I said I wouldn't spank you in Hazard County? Well that promise was only good for last summer. Want to go for a drive?".

Goodgulf

[alice18]

I would like to try to write a story about some other people, who just happened to cross the count line and pulled into that rest stop. Would that be ok with you?