Halloween Clueless; "Updated"

[arielpantiesdnspanked]

Halloween Clueless; “Candy Red Apples”


Ana was sixteen years-old, but her philosophy was that she was not to old to dress up in a costume and go trick or treating. She had dragged her teen classmate along with her. Besides, she rationalized that she knew the homes where they gave out the good stuff.

The parent opened the door and he walked out onto the porch when he saw how old the two older teen girls among the younger costume dressed that had decided to participate in Halloween.

“Girls, I need you both to go empty handed and leave the trick or treat for age appropriate goblins and ghost." The homeowner said.

“We can talk here, now. It’s still our time! Ana sassily challenged the parent.

The girl with the brown shoulder-length hair looked astonished at the way the way her school friend had just talked to their adult neighbor.

“Do you agree with your friend here? The father questioned her.

“No sir, I do not.” The costumed teen girl scrunched her butt, showing her nervousness at being asked the question as she walked away from the home.

Ana was not going to be a happy Canadian teenager. The junior high schoolgirl had been a ‘bad girl’ and had remained rebellious by her neighbor’s suggestion to stop her trick or treat activities and leave empty handed without the goodies se knew the house was giving out.
Her insistence at refusing to agree to stop trick or treating or even discuss her personal reasons for continuing the tradition left

“Would you a candy red apple, young lady?”

Ana nodded, that she would.

“Come around back to the shed, young lady.” The peeved parent cajoled Ana.

What Ana didn’t know was what treat the well heeled homeowner had especially for the nearly grown teenager. He had mentioned getting a Candy Red Apple. She thought her neighbor saw her as the apple of his eye.

Unknown to Ana candy red apple recipients found their ability to sit comfortably diminished. It was his term for a growing girl still choosing to take advantage of trick or treat a sound spanking leaving their lower cheek regions of her bottom cheeks, which he made sure turned a candy apple red like ‘ripe’ fruit.

******
It had been a typical Halloween with femme voiced brats hollering out his name, knocking on the door and running away laughing at him as he opened the door.
He realized as he opened the front door there was a young lady dresses as Betsy in the Great Gatsby. Ana's alto voice and privilege bratty ways along with shoulder length shiny brown hair could melt the sternest of hearts. The dancing teenager knew how to use it to manipulate her way into or out of anything she chose.
Her former teacher mad as hell at Ana squatting with her chilly bare bottom Ana’s Halloween appearance on his porch for trick or treat was the last straw!
It was about time someone took control and taught this late teen brat a lesson in greed.
Ana saw this was not a good sign for the rest of her evening. The punishing hand propelled the brat just inside the front door jam.
"No oh no, Let me go, Ana wondered why her girl friend had left her alone with this now, scary man on the porch.
"Where is my friend?"
Ana whined, when she suddenly felt a push firmly in the back. The door shut behind them and she was now at the mercy of her neighbor.

Ana’s Words


I had followed this man to the back of his house to a lit large shed in his backyard. Was I crazy?

Before I could change my mind I felt a push in my back as I was propelled inside into the shed.

Astonished I was pushed over a work table. My rounds sticking up being spanked by his hairbrush.. I’ll state hear and now his wooden hairbrush felt like a paddle swatting my Gatsby period skirt clad butt as I was taken to school having my butt cooked. All had been said and I knew my butt was now bright red as my first non-parent spanking.

Before I knoew strong hands yanked up my skirt and pulled down my panties baring my bottom. This was hard for me because my (bottom) was getting puffy and fuller too. I felt like I was putting on a bottom show when I got spanked, cause of the way it jiggled. I didn't want this man seeing me bare from the back chancing him seeing my private areas when the spanking was in full swing.

Of course as soon as the spanks start you forget all about modesty. All you want is the sting to go away. I totally forget all about neighbor man watching my bottom wiggle and jiggle. All I knew is it hurt and I wanted it to stop.

However, I did continue to get it as I began to tear up and then cry. His wooden hairbrush was heavy enough that each swat against my bare butt meant a concentrated burn deep in the meaty part of my bottom which you never get totally over, but you kinda get used to it and accept it and stop trying to squirm away from your spanking.


Finally with a volley of hard swats across my sit-upons and my clenched reddened butt cheeks unclenched and legs opened briefly farting as foe a second my pink rosette puckered opened and I released the tummy gas bubbles that had been building inside my stomach which had bounced up and down off the work table as my spanking came to a close. I quickly got up and rubbed the sting in my behind, pulled up my panties and tugged my Great Gatsby skirt down. To my surprise he handed me a wrapped candy apple with a smile. I walked away in haste wondering if I would have the nerve to repeat my trick or teat at this same house next year! My bottom really hurt as I made my way to the next house.

[rachelredbum]

It is a good start but I must admit that I found it disjointed. First of all, you spent a good deal of time telling your readers about earier escapades. Instead, you need to show it somehow. Remember the old screenwriter adage to always "show don't tell". Another thing is that there seemed to be changes in focus from ana to her friend and to the neighbor. It is best to stick to a single viewpoint, then express how others viewed her via facial expressions and body language, such as a raised eyebrow or a clenched jaw or whatever. I hope you dont mind my criticism

[arielpantiesdnspanked]

Rachel, Not at all that is how I learn and grow as a writer. Please keeep reading and watch my stories improve.

Thanks