REMOVED BY AUTHOR

[brian4f]

I think it is well written. You did a good job setting the scene and conveying the emotions of the narrator.

[hairbrushedhubby]

A great story, I do love F/M hairbrush spankings, keep up the good work and write some more.

[psyche]

This was good and the handcuffs ... what a great idea.. I will have to look into that for those naughty bottoms that just can't keep their hands away...

[piper33]

Your descriptive narrative is sublime. I could picture everything around your perfectly, even the subtext was perfect. If this is a first attempt.... well done and a fantastic read over my morning eggnog latte. more please.
piper

[rsejyr55]

To Psyche: Glad I could help you expand your horizons.. I'd be glad to volunteer.. ; )

To Piper: Thanx for the good review. This was indeed my first attempt at this type of writing although I've been writing all my life. I have a few more that I'll post if I can find them.

[goodgulf]

Nice.

Since you're a first time writer, may I offer you a piece of advice? You might want to use white space. I usually put a blank line between paragraphs and I find that works well when it comes to reading it online.

Goodgulf

[rsejyr55]

Gulf:
I've been a journalist & writer of mainstream fiction for over 25 years. The story above was my first attempt at THIS type type of fiction. I posted it here for entertainment purposes, not to win a Pulitzer. I'm sure my knowledge of structure & format is more than adequate.
Thanx anyway, but should you feel the need to play editor please go elsewhere.

[goodgulf]

I'm sorry if I offended you. When you mentioned that you were a first time poster I passed on a piece of advice that I pass on to all first time posters who ignore white space.

I find it easier to read a story that uses white space than one that doesn't, and now I find myself curious to know why you feel differently.

Why?

Because I'm not professional writer so I'm interested on why you feel the story is more readable without the extra white space.

Goodgulf