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Bared Affair issue #1.02 -- spoof F/f 'zine
« on: Feb 14th, 2003, 8:19am »
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Note to readers of --
I am an infrequent poster but frequent reader of this site, and I love the sense of humor of everyone here! I also like the ability to do little formatting tricks. As such, it gives me pleasure to present to you the second issue of "Bared Affair"! The inaugural issue was published back in October, and you should be able to find it here:
on Oct 6th, 2002, 1:19pm, Bared_Affair wrote:
Spoof: "Bared Affair" F/f 'zine, #1.01, Oct. 2002 issue

Love and thanks,
Bared Affair
For old-fashioned ladies and the modern-minded girls in their care

Issue 1.02: February 2003
Last Updated on 13-Feb-03
Note: Page numbers are just for fun. Your mileage may vary!
Exclusive Features:
  • Mrs Hobson's School of Kindness: A profile of the famous founder of ladies' spanking schools . . . . page 13
  • This Day in History: A hot bottom on a cold night . . . . page 21
  • The Disciplined Athlete: A leading coach talks about when and how to paddle . . . . page 26
  • Classic Literature: Rereading Emile Zola's L'Assommoire . . . . page 33

In the News:
  • Sister's Expertise Aborts Spanking: Too little knowledge is a dangerous thing . . . . page 5
  • Shopper Admits to Ulterior Motives: A mother has unorthodox reasons for purchasing kitchenware . . . . page 30
  • News In Brief: From schools in England, Jamaica and the U.S. (Florida) . . . . page 38

Regular Columns:
  • A Note To Our Readers: Celebrating our second issue . . . . page 2
  • Community Voices: A mother and her daughter sound off about bare-bottom spanking . . . . page 3
  • Dear Miss Demeanor: Advice for real girls . . . . page 11
  • Book Reviews: Juanita Carberry's troubled youth . . . . page 18
  • Victim Fashions: Buffing up your buns . . . . page 24
  • Backtalk: Letters from our readers . . . . page 40

Disclaimer: Bared Affair is a spoof publication that contains F/f (or F/F) spanking fantasies and is purely for the enjoyment of its readership. Any resemblance with real people, living or dead, is unintentional or is solely meant as satire. Please do not believe anything you read on the Internet.

All material is Copyright 2002, 2003 by the authors, who retain full rights to the writing herein.

To Our Readers
Notes and commentary from the staff of Bared Affair.
Well, we hope the wait was worth it.
This is the second publication of Bared Affair, a mere five months after the first issue came out. We hadn't quite intended to take quite so much time to put out more articles old-fashioned women and their modern-minded daughters, nieces, students and wards.
It's not as if we lacked for material, after all. This very issue contains over twenty thousand words, and that's after we did a significant amount of paring down to get to the bottom of things. It is to the credit of Evonne, Beth, Naomi and Pam that we have such a wide variety of themes in this issue. And we are especially grateful to editor-at-large Steff, who has produced article after article of wonderful content and ideas.
Speaking of ideas, Bared Affair is always on the lookout for contributors. We need writers to work on assignments, and we would also value the services of a graphically-minded individual or two who can help us lay the magazine out for readability. If you are interested, please contact me through my e-mail address.
We are already lining up material for the next issue, in November. A partial list of articles includes:
  • Confessing: Is it the right thing to do?
  • Mami's Logic: A latina remembers her mother's mixed-up rationales for spanking
  • More from an interview with the distinguished founder of a chain of ladies' spanking schools
  • More News, More Features, and New Reviews!

Finally, it should immediately become apparent to new readers that this is a spoof magazine that describes a fantasy-land in which young ladies from their teens all the way into adulthood are still subject to the firm hand (or hairbrush, or slipper, as the case may be) of an older female authority figure. We hope you enjoy this publication, but please don't take any of it seriously!
Editrix in Chief, Bared Affair Magazine
February 12, 2002


Bare Bottom: Pro And Con
A daughter and her mother square off on this topic.
POINT: If you're older than six, it's unnecessary and over the top
By Miss Toya Davis
I know what you're thinking. One look at my photo and you believe you have the whole story. "She's obviously eighteen and resents it when her Mama gets old-fashioned on her big black bare butt." Well, I'll have you know that I haven't suffered the indignity of pulling down my panties for my mother's discipline in well over a year. So it is not out of self-interest that I'm penning this column.
You could say that I'm hoping to help two groups by taking this stand against bare-bottom spanking. First, I seek to help those less fortunate children, especially girls (hmpf!), whose parents, especially their mothers, still subscribe to what some call "the time-honored way to rear children," but what I would call a crime against humanity. Or, if not exactly against all of humanity, it is at least a crime against teenaged girlery.
Secondly, I wish to help those poor deluded mothers (and some teachers!) who are misguided enough to think they're doing a good thing when they flip up skirts and yank down underwear for chastisement. If your daughter is older than about six years old, she'll find the treatment totally over-the-top and at least half of the desired disciplinary effort will be for naught.
Dear ladies, your girl will certainly put on a good show when you're spanking on bare skin. You may think your message is getting through loud and clear when your palm, or strap, or slipper, or wooden spoon, or switch, or cane, or birch rod, or hairbrush, or martinet is delivered to the quivering flesh of her derriere. And make no mistake about it -- a bare-bottom spanking really hurts. You probably know that from personal experience, learned at (or over!) your own mother's knee.
But despite her tears and wailing and carrying on, you're being fooled if you think the lesson is made any more effective with panties down. In fact, it may even be less effective. (More on that idea in a minute.) But first, you may be surprised to learn that there is no clinical difference between the pain of a spanking on bare skin as compared to one applied over a thin, taught surface such as cotton or polyester.
You're being fooled if you think the lesson is made any more effective with panties down.

Don't believe me? Well, you don't have to take my word for it. You can find a study in the Annals of Analgesia, Spring 1978, in which University of Arizona researchers applied a heavy oak paddle to the backsides of student volunteers. Participants were wearing a special undergarment with a series of inch-wide strips cut from the back, so that the same paddle blow could impact both uncovered and partly-covered flesh. Not only were surface temperature readings and bottom colorations identical between the naked and clothed areas of skin, but students interviewed afterwards had only a 53% level of accuracy at identifying which areas had been uncovered during the paddling -- statistically the same as random guessing! In short, ladies, if you're serious about spanking your daughters, not just doing it for show, there's really nothing gained by first taking down their protective clothing.
But there may be something lost. Have you ever encountered a pushy salesman (or saleswoman) who almost successfully sold you something, but then went a little too far in the sales pitch, and lost your business as a result? That's what bare-bottom spanking is like, especially if the recipient is beyond the age of puberty and has many justifiable reasons for modesty.
Imagine, if you will: you're in the position of a saleswoman, and your daughter is the customer. It's your job to persuade the customer to buy something from you -- in this case, a set of moral values that is used to distinguish right from wrong. Fortunately, you have a very convincing tool at your disposal, namely the right and the obligation to punish her soundly when she violates one of the moral values you are trying to "sell."
Mind you, even though spanking can be persuasive (believe me, I know), it's possible to take it too far. Just as it would cease to be discipline and fall into the realm of bullying if you spanked your child for a trivial mistake such as the poor conjugation of irregular English verbs, likewise it would be overdoing it to bare her behind before applying a well-deserved punishment for some crime, such as being arrested for underaged drinking.
She's trapped, and she knows it. She's going to be spanked, and she knows it. It's going to hurt, a lot, regardless of whether he underwear is up or down, and she knows it. So why belabor the point by not only putting her over your knee or bending her over the bed, but also embarrassing her by exposing her backside? It has the unintended effect of causing a mental backlash within her subconscious. It runs contrary to the very reason you're disciplining her, to teach right from wrong and to motivate her not to do wrong in the future.
Why belabor the point by not only putting her over your knee, but also embarrassing her by exposing her backside?

It is, to be honest, a poor sales job if you're so desperate to "close the deal" that you'll pull out all the stops for every lead. As a shopper, I know that the harder a salesgirl is working to get my business, the easier it will be for me to find a bargain. Why don't our mothers "get it"? Don't they remember when they were young girls sand their parents never understood -- never even tried? You'd think they'd have learned something about the mistakes of the past.
Well, one thing is for sure, when I have kids, things are going to be different. Indeed, no teenaged daughter of mine will have to suffer the indignity of being spanked like a six-year-old, panties down and everything! As a matter of fact, I'm sure that she'll be so well-behaved (and I will be so patient and forgiving) that I probably won't even have to spank her at all as a teenager. My mother always tells me that I'll feel differently when I have kids of my own, but I'll bet that this is one belief that won't change: I hate bare-bottom spanking now, and I'm sure I'll continue to hate it when I have little ones, no matter how naughty they may be.
COUNTERPOINT: Bare Is Best, Especially For Teens
By Mrs. Ellie Davis
Well, well, well -- isn't this a pretty sight? My daughter has her picture in a magazine. I'm so proud I could burst!  
It's just unfortunate that her lovely photograph is surrounded by line after line of ridiculous tripe that passes for opinion these days. Back when I was a child, girls were to be seen, not heard. Sometimes I think the whole "women's liberation" movement has gone too far. You can stop the roller coaster -- my daughter is getting off right here.
The only thing nuttier than my daughter's absurd arguments against spanking on the bare bottom is the idea that any modern mother would take her seriously. Can you imagine? As a woman who was brought up properly by my own mother, I can only sputter in mystification at the thought of somehow considering my daughter's comfort (or lack thereof) when she is being punished.
Don't be fooled, sisters. Even the thinnest pair of underwear serves to pad and protect in a way that bare skin does not. My daughter quotes a very questionable study that claims that no difference in how much it hurts to be spanked bare as compared with being paddled on the seat of your skivvies. I suggest, ladies, that we do a little experimentation of our own. The next time you have an occasion to punish your child, give her half her spanking on her left bottom cheek, with panties pulled up, and the other half on her right cheek, panties down. Ask her afterwards which cheek stings more, and I don't think she'll have any trouble identifying the side that was bare.
Don't be fooled. Even the thinnest pair of underwear protects the way bare skin does not.

It is not only clear that bare bottom spanking does more "good" by ratcheting up the effectiveness of discipline, it also has other beneficial impacts. It reduces your teen (no matter how old she is in physical years) to a more child-like, receptive state. Even a big girl of sixteen or older can be quickly reduced to the mentality of a squalling infant after a few well-placed smacks to the part of her body intended by Mother Nature for punishment. Surely our dear Mother Nature, who brought us into the world naked, did not think our rear ends should benefit from extra padding, did she? And the dear lady was ever thoughtful of us mothers who aren't quite as strong as the daughters we are attempting to raise: by exposing the skin, even the most limp-wristed woman can put a sting in the tail of the most stalwart teenager.
Finally, bare-bottom spanking allows a concerned parent or teacher to carefully and evenly spread the blows across the surface of a pair of naughty cheeks. I have heard of countless instances of unintended bruising caused by an inability to determine which part of the target has already been thoroughly addressed. Our children should be grateful, not resentful, for our concern.
Contrary to my daughter's silly-headed comparison of motherhood to "salesmanship," baring bottoms during spanking isn't just something that's a luxury, a so-called nice-to-have feature. Rather, it's an integral part of the spanking experience. Ladies, trust your instincts, not my daughter's self-serving frippery, when it comes time to take your girl across your knee. Believe it or not, one day she'll see that you were doing the right thing all along. Let's just hope that our daughters have the grace to admit we were right at some point in the future, when they have misbehaving teenagers of their own.
Mrs. Ellie Davis and her daughter Toya live just outside of Omaha, U.S.A.

(c) Bared Affair  (##)
February 2003 Issue

    You're a mother, an aunt, a stepmom, a teacher or even an old-school governess or baby-sitter responsible for one or more rambunctious young ladies. Or, you're a teenager or college-aged woman being reared in a traditional household. Is there no magazine that addresses your own special interests?
    Au contraire! Bared Affair, the periodical for old-fashioned ladies and the modern-minded girls in their care, is the magazine for you! With stories on such important topics as the most effective spanking techniques, how to "dress your best" when you're due for punishment, and the psychological aspects of bare-bottom discipline, you'll find everything you need, every month, in this groundbreaking publication.
    Read Bared Affair . . . because you care!
Bared Affair can be found on the Spanking Memories web site, the FFspankingstories Yahoo group, and the BaredAffair mailing list. It is a spoof publication that contains F/f (or F/F) spanking fantasies and is purely for the enjoyment of its readership. Any resemblance with real people, living or dead, is unintentional or is solely meant as satire. Please do not believe anything you read on the Internet.
Sister's Expertise Aborts Spanking
If you don't know what you're doing, computers can cause more harm than good.
By Steff
FT. WORTH (Texas), U.S.A. -- Last Saturday night a spanking was aborted, or at least postponed, in the Heywood household of Ft Worth, Texas, when 46-year-old Ellen Heywood was confronted by her older daughter, Pamela, after she had begun spanking her younger daughter, Caroline.
Mrs Heywood thought she had caught Caroline looking at pornographic images on the family's computer, though the 15-year-old insisted that she "didn't know what was happening" when a series of pop-up images "suddenly appeared out of nowhere."
Her 22-year-old sister Pamela was home from university visiting for the weekend when she heard a heated discussion break out in her father's study, the site of the family's computer.
"I heard Carrie caterwalling and telling Mama that she 'didn't do it,' and Mama yelling something like 'get your butt over that chair now!' and about three or four loud whacks. I was just next door watching TV so I got up and looked in. I could see the computer screen and there was some weird site and, pardon my French, some guy was getting a blow job and some other woman was doing something up his ass."
Pamela went on to describe how this provoked both concern and curiosity on her behalf.
"Well, I sure didn't want to walk in on the middle of Carrie's spanking. I mean, who wants their big sister watching when they're getting it? But Carrie had said, like, it wasn't her fault [and] it was an accident, and I thought maybe Mama had made a mistake. You know, I didn't want her getting paddled for something she didn't do."
Knowing that she would have to act decisively, Pamela knocked loudly on the door, already wide open, and asked what was going on. Mrs Heywood was at first understandably annoyed by this sudden interference.
"It didn't take a rocket scientist to see what was going on," the girls' mother responded. "When Pam suddenly barged into the room I was pretty ticked. At first I didn't think it was any of her darn business, but now I guess I'm glad she came along when she did."
An Unfortunate Sequence of Events
Pamela quickly managed to convince her mother that more investigation might be wise before she continued with her disciplinary endeavour. Caroline insisted that her mother had greatly misunderstood the situation.
"I was following some links and then this screen came up that was something about cheerleaders. I'm a junior cheerleader at my school, and so I clicked it to see, and suddenly I got this site that had porno on it. I tried to close it right away, really!" the teenager stated emphatically, her eyes widening.
"But then when I closed it, two more came up, and they were porno, too. I couldn't understand what was going on because it was all in another language, and when I heard Mama coming to the study, and I tried to get rid of it. But soon the bar at the bottom of the screen was full of porno sites, so I panicked and shut off the screen, but it was too late. She knew something was up and told me to turn it on again."
Her mother described the images as "absolutely appalling."
"When the screen came back on there was a picture of this man with this huge ... thingy! And he was, well, squirting his, you know, stuff right into this woman's face! How disgusting! Is it legal to show stuff like that on the Internet? I can't believe people would even think of doing something like that!"
Even more difficult for Mrs Heywood to believe was that her daughter Caroline would purposely view such an image. But believe it she nevertheless did, and unfortunately the girl's attempt to turn off the computer upon her mother's arrival only provided the stern disciplinarian with more incriminating evidence.
Caroline's bad luck was further compounded by the fact that the Heywood family happens to keep their spanking paddle in her father's study. Bared Affair has learnt that this implement has already had extensive use in the Heywood home.
The girl's attempt to turn off the screen provided the stern disciplinarian with more incriminating evidence.

According to Ron Heywood, 49-year-old father of Caroline and Pamela, the paddle was made by a friend at church. In a moment of Christian charity and fraternity, a fellow congregate offered to make the implement in his woodworking shop, going so far as to have the words "Because we love you" engraved on the back of the sanded piece of pine wood.
Pamela commented that there had been "about a dozen" times in the ensuing years when she personally had found these words especially difficult to believe, as she recounted the paddle's history.
"When I was about eleven or twelve they stopped spanking me on the bare butt, but they also started using the paddle instead. Trust me, I'd rather take the hand on the bare butt any day. They gave one spank for each year of your age, and they kept the rule after they started using the paddle, even though that thing hurts ten times as much!" During her last encounter with the family paddle, she received a total of sixteen solid blows. "Thankfully it was still a few weeks till my seventeenth birthday," she added with an air of sardonic humour.
Conducting the Investigation
And it appears that sister Caroline would have received almost that many were it not for Pamela's interference. Upon entering the study, Pamela found her younger sibling bent over the upholstered arm of a large, well-padded armchair, a position Pamela herself remembers quite well.
"Mama said that Carrie was getting a spanking because she was looking at porno, and Carrie had this look like it wasn't her fault. So I go, 'look, I can just go check the computer's memory and see what she's been watching.' Mama didn't understand, and so I rebooted the computer and did some searches."
By this time Mrs Heywood and her daughter Caroline's interest had been redirected from the spanking back to the computer.
"I told Mama it would take a while to go through everything, but I could more or less figure out what Carrie had been looking at recently."
Caroline's reaction was one of great relief and tremendous appreciation for her sister's concern for her well being. She was, however, reported to have shown some disconcertion at the prospect of her entire Internet viewing history coming to light.
Their mother, on the other hand, was soundly perplexed.
"I'll admit that I don't know a lot about how those things work. Pam went back to the football site Carrie said she had gone to, and then got some site with a grown woman in a cheerleader's costume with her hand down her spanky-pants. Then Pam clicked on something and this totally disgusting porno picture came up with some words that looked foreign or something. It was worse than the first one! I don't care what people in those other countries want to watch, but they shouldn't be sending it over here where anyone can see it!"
Pamela explained that her research was then hampered by her mother's sudden sense of panic: "She was like, 'Get it off! Get it off! I don't want that filth in my house!' and I'm like, 'look, Mama, I'm just trying to see if we end up at that same site Carrie got'."
Pamela's attempt to terminate this procedure led to yet more panic on Mrs Heywood's behalf. The middle-age Texan explained that a "message came up saying it had performed an illegal operation! I had a feeling that all that porno was illegal! Well, I didn't want the police coming to our house and I said maybe we should call them first to explain. But Pam and Carrie said it does that all time. What's the matter with our computer then, I wondered?"
Pam pointed out that it was entirely plausible Carrie hadn't intended to view pornography, as the adolescent contended, though she would know for sure after she had examined the computer's Internet history thoroughly.
"Look, I'll be the first to admit that I acted too quickly," the embarrassed mother explained. "But when we got the computer hooked up to that Internet we made it very clear to her she was only supposed to look at sites we approved of. I'd heard a lot of bad things about the Internet, and no wonder! It's great for getting emails but aside from that I think they should just get rid of the whole doggone thing. To be honest, I'm not sure if we should trust Carrie with it or not."
The extent to which the Heywoods do trust Caroline in the future will depend greatly upon the results of Pamela's investigation. Not only will it determine whether the high school sophomore has Internet access the next time she sits in front of the computer, but how comfortably she sits there as well.
Preliminary Results
"She'd better be telling the truth," the big-boned, if not slightly corpulent, woman warned. "If she's not then I'm not going to hesitate to get out the paddle again, and we're starting from scratch. That first part of the spanking she got the other night doesn't count."
With her fate hanging completely in her sister's hand, the worried adolescent has still not received definitive word on the matter.
Her sister, when queried about her reticence, hinted that whilst she had not found any pornographic links that would coincide with Caroline's known viewing times, there were a lot of music files on the computer that had caught her attention.
"Mama's really strict when it comes to music," Pamela explained. "Let's just say that Carrie obviously knows of a way to listen to non-Christian hip-hop groups, which is a definite no-no."
Whether any of this comes out in the report her mother is so eagerly awaiting is something about which Pamela was likewise reticent, and it may, the older sister admitted, have much to do with Caroline's future disposition towards her.
"I'm not asking for much. Just a little respect and perhaps the odd favour," the young woman remarked, cryptically. Bared Affair noted that Caroline had been seen washing her sister's car on Sunday afternoon.
Although she confirmed that so far she had not found any direct evidence of Caroline viewing pornography, Pamela refused to comment on whether her family's computer was indeed clear of all such material.
Ron Heywood, when commenting upon the aftermath of his wife's Saturday night discovery, remarked, "I really don't think it's necessary to pursue this thing any further. Really, I don't. Pam's busy enough with her studies, anyway. I'm sure that whatever's been happening with that computer is an honest mistake and all a big misunderstanding. This just goes to show you have no idea how stuff can get on there."
This was despite the fact Pamela still contends, "if sixty-eight sites come up that are all about the exact same thing, you can be pretty sure that someone's been looking up that information on purpose. It's just a matter of tracking down who was on the computer when."
The Value of Corporal Punishment
When asked if she could be sure to get an accurate reporting from her eldest, Mrs Heywood responded, "We can trust our daughter because of the way we brought her up, and she's concerned about her little sister just like we are. I know kids sure don't always appreciate it at the time, but trust me, families that are willing to discipline end up appreciating it in the end."
Notwithstanding her misgivings over the incident that she witnessed on Saturday night, even Pamela herself remains a believer in the general effectiveness of corporal punishment.
"I think that if someone Carrie's age does something really bad they should get a spanking," the business management student stated. "I don't think that grounding's a very good idea, 'cause it punishes the whole family. Kids can just go ahead and break it anyway, knowing there's nothing worse the parents can do. With a spanking, you hate it, but you really know why you're being punished and you don't want to ever do it again, and then it's all over with."
Pamela's enthusiasm for spanking was, however, tempered with several caveats.
The Heywood daughters don't believe they need to be spanked so much. 'After five or six swats it's like, I think I get the message now, OK?'

"You don't have to be as strict as Mama and Daddy are. If you do something deliberately wrong and they find out about it, then it's maybe a good time to spank, but you shouldn't go following your kids around looking for every mistake they make. Trust me, Daddy at least knows how this feels now.
"And I think you have to make sure you're fair about it and give the person getting spanked a chance to explain herself, like Mama didn't do the other night. I mean, when she thought I did something bad Mama would just haul me into the study and grab the paddle, and without any chance to say anything, it's just 'smack, slap, whack,'" Pamela recalled, making a beating motion with her right arm.
"And I also don't think you have to spank so long and so hard," she added. "I mean after five or six swats it's like, 'I think I get the message now, OK guys?'"
Her mother offered a slightly different perspective on this matter.
"We really don't like to have to spank, so when we do we make sure that it really gets the message across," she explained. "Trust me, I know it hurts, but I also know she's not going to ever want to do what she did to deserve it again."
Caroline, the only member of the Heywood household to be spanked in recent years, disagreed with both these perspectives.
"I think I'm getting too old to get spankings," complained the minor, who still has two-and-a-half years to wait until she is legally recognised as an adult. "Most of my friends don't get spanked anymore."
She did concur with her older sister's view that her parents' spankings were more than what was needed to provide an effective deterrent. However, in contrast to her sister's sense of proportion, she described getting the paddle on the seat of her jeans or trousers as only "twice as bad" as the method of spanking she was used to until she approached adolescence.
Despite recent events and their daughters' concerns, the Heywoods have no plans to make any great changes in family disciplinary strategy.
Mrs Heywood argued that "a person's attitude should determine when she's old enough not to need spankings, not when they reach a certain age. If Carrie doesn't want to get spanked anymore, it's simple: she just has to obey the rules of our house."
Mr Heywood concurred with this view, though he also added, "There comes a time when I think you have to loosen the reigns a bit and realise someone's an adult and should be treated that way. Like with Pam, for instance, I think it's maybe time to loosen the reigns a bit. Just provide her with some support, but not try to be too controlling. She's been hinting that maybe she would benefit from more support and less control, and I'm thinking she's right. Especially given how busy she is at school these days. I've been telling her she doesn't have time to be distracted by computer investigations like this."
So it seems that the lives of all the Heywoods have been strongly affected by the coming of the Internet, despite having only one family member fully computer literate.
Mrs Heywood remains the most reluctant of all, adding that "I was ready just to chuck the whole computer into the garbage. But then that would be stupid, because we just paid over 1,000 dollars for the darn thing. Gosh knows we've spent enough on the kids' education already. And now Ron is talking about getting Pam a Jeep for a graduation present? I thought the reason we poured so much money into her education was so that she could get a good job and buy those sorts of things herself."
Pamela, who has owned her own computer since starting university, remains the most satisfied with her family's technological forays.
"I remember in my first week of high school the computer teacher told us that those who know the information highway will hold the power in the future. And you know what? He was right!" she remarked, with a satisfied grin.
"By the way, do you have any idea how many sites there are about peeing?" she added.
Steff travels the globe in search of new and developing stories for Bared Affair. Her last dispatch for the magazine was filed from the University of Wales.

(c) Bared Affair  (##)
February 2003 Issue

Bared Affair makes no actual or implied endorsement of any advertiser's products or services.
    BEING A NANNY . . .
    It's never having a MINUTE
        but always taking a MOMENT
      Through a HUG... a WHISPER.
    By just BEING THERE to teach your
        ward a valuable LIFE LESSON.
    DISCIPLINE isn't easy. It takes TIME
      to keep her on the STRAIGHT and
        NARROW. That's why you FEEL GOOD
    about HARWOOD(R) brand hairbrushes.
        Made from the finest MAPLE...
    lasting shine. And wide enough
        to put a HOT VARNISHED SHINE
    on her whole backside.
      And NOTHING less will do.
    For quick, EFFECTIVE punishment
        for even the most unruly girls,
Product: Harwood(R) WideLoad style hairbrushes.
Instructions: Apply firmly to seat of panties or to exposed cheeks. Distribute strokes evenly over buttocks to achieve a rich, rosy glow.
Dosage: 10 to 25 moderate strength strokes. DO NOT EXCEED RECOMMENDED DOSAGE. Bruising may occur.
Age: 21 and up. Do not apply to children. This is a fantasy advertisement. Do not take it seriously.

Dear Miss Demeanor
Advice for real girls.
By "Miss D."
Miss Demeanor is the pseudonym of a licensed psychotherapist who practices in a small town in North America. As a side project, she offers free advice to girls and women dealing with disciplinary difficulties.
Dear Miss Demeanor,
    I am wondering what advice you would give to me. Mother straps me whenever I misbehave, but that is not my problem. I accept corporal punishment when it is deserved, and I believe in its effectiveness, especially when delivered in a loving environment.
    However, I am not certain that it is always deserved. My younger sister Martha seems to be very envious of me, and is always scheming to get me in trouble with our parents. She takes particular satisfaction in forcing me to confess to a mistake that Mother would have otherwise overlooked.
    Last week I received two dozen hard strokes with the leather for what I would consider to be a harmless accident with the family's glass figurine collection. Mother certainly never would have missed one fawn out of twelve, but Martha saw me sweeping up the debris and immediately reported me to higher authorities.
    Miss Demeanor, I love my sister very much, but I find her behavior tiresome: all the more so because she's generally very well-mannered and almost never gets caught herself. What should I do: continue to try to reason with her, or respond in kind? (Two can play at this game.)
    ANAT, age 18
    Haifa, Isreal

You face a problem that transcends parental discipline: that of sibling rivalry. I sense that your issue with your sister runs much deeper than mere spankings.
I'd advise you not to attempt the same immature behavior that your sister is getting away with. It would almost certainly backfire, and it would invite your mother to give you the spanking you might have wished upon your sister. After all, you are the older and more responsible girl in the family.
If you haven't discussed this openly with your sister, do so. Perhaps you could involve one of your parents as an arbiter. If necessary, a family counseling session can be arranged.
You also seem to be ignoring your own complicity in these punishments that you receive. If you were a little better behaved, your sister would have less to pin upon you, and your best revenge would be that your mother would have no cause to get out the strap.
Finally, consider asking your sister to role play with you, in which your roles are reversed, or in which she plays you and you play your mother. In doing so -- and in demonstrating to her how it feels to be put over someone's knee and strapped to tears -- she may develop empathy for your situation that is missing now. (Be cautioned that role playing can only occur in a consensual environment -- she must give her permission before you spank her.) --Miss D.
Dear Miss Demeanor,
    I was disappointed, but understanding, when you turned down my recent request for a doctor's note excusing me from corporal punishment at my school. However, I am growing very weary of the cane that my headmistress uses so zealously. It burns so much, I declare it does! As a doctor, can you prescribe me something that would take the sting off? Please send the prescription in an unmarked envelope to me in care of my school, and let me know how long before a punishment I need to take it in order to minimize the pain.
    DESIREE, 17
    (address withheld), Barbados
P.S. As before, please don't print my location or school name. I think my headmistress reads your magazine.

I feel for you, having been in your position at one time in my life. However, I must point out that I am not a medical doctor, and as such I cannot write any prescriptions. And even if I could, I would refuse to do so. Much as it hurts, the cane is used for a reason: to help you grow into a better-behaved young lady. I would never want to undermine the decisions your headmistress makes in how to discipline her students -- she certainly knows better than I just what you need. My only counsel in this matter would be to turn your attention away from blunting the effects of a caning, and toward avoiding the cause of punishment in the first place. --Miss D.
Dear Miss Demeanor,
    It is enough of an embarrassment to me that, as a high school sophomore, I still have a governess. But imagine my shame if my friends suspected that she still spanks me almost weekly with her hand, a slipper or even a hairbrush! And with panties down, at that. Now, to make matters worse, it occurs to me that I may not be able to guard my secret forever. In examining my bottom a few days after a recent spanking I noticed that my skin seems thicker and tougher there than, for example, on my thighs. Miss Demeanor, is this effect permanent? It can't be attractive. What can I do to make it better or at least stop it from getting worse?
    BECKY, age 15
    Winnipeg, Canada

I hope you have been applying moisturizers and emollients after each punishment. If not, by all means begin now! To reverse the level of damage you indicate, you need a mild exfoliant, perhaps containing alpha-hydroxy. But stay away from chemical peels or any of those more drastic remedies. In the long run they create a morbid sensitivity, and cause more problems when you are spanked again.
If you think your condition is serious enough to warrant more advanced treatment, please do not call just any doctor, especially a male one. Even professional people have been known to show an unhealthy interest in the afflictions of a young girl's more private anatomy. I am sending you the card of my domestic partner, who is a practicing dermatologist and sometimes travels to your province. Please call her office at any time for an appointment.  
Finally, Becky, your letter suggests that you expect someone other than your governess to be seeing your bottom -- why else would you worry about its attractiveness? For your own sake, please be sure that no such thing happens until you are married or at least engaged. I suggest you discuss these feelings with your governess and let her offer guidance. --Miss D.
Girls and women may write to Miss Demeanor in care of Bared Affair magazine. Although we cannot print every letter, all inquiries will be answered by private post.

(c) Bared Affair  (##)
February 2003 Issue

Mrs Hobson's School Of Kindness
Part One: An introduction to Mrs Vivienne Hobson, a founding mother in the history of corporal punishment.
Exclusive interview by Evonne Richardson
We started our interview with introductions. I let Mrs Hobson know why Bared Affair is interested in her story. At Mrs Hobson's request, her words are directly transcribed from the tape, verbatim.
VH: My daughter Rebecca has told me all about you and your magazine "Bird Affairs." Why "Bird"? Is it the slang term for females as in England?
ER: No, Mrs Hobson. It's "bared" as in "clothes removed," implying that some people are spanked with their panties down.
VH: As it should be. I don't think it's wise to let them keep their bottoms covered. You don't know if they've padded them, and it takes longer to effectively spank them if you're doing it through clothing.
ER: Now, Mrs Hobson, Rebecca has said you are willing to talk about your experiences regarding spanking when she was a teenager.
VH: Yes, when I was a child, I had loving parents, who were always careful to ensure we never went astray. They spanked us if we transgressed their strict rules. Strict to us, anyway. They'd had Victorian parents, who believed in the old Biblical adage: "Spare the rod and spoil the child."
My father said that his father's rod was a slim walking stick, and he felt it gave him a firm basis of behaviour, which stood him well in later life. My mother was spanked by her mother, but if she stayed with her grandparents she lived in terror throughout the visit. Great-grandmama kept a cane to deal with her daughters, and the stories of its use had put the fear of God in my mother.  
ER: Speaking of which, when you were a child, did you behave through fear, or because you felt it right?
VH: I felt that my good behaviour was a result of my training. I saw no reason for modern mothers to dispense with spanking, and it would therefore benefit my children. So if they were naughty as youngsters, over my knee they would go! As you know, Rebecca has an elder and a younger brother, Edward and Robert, and when they turned twelve, my husband took over. Their misdemeanours earned them a taste of his leather belt. I cannot say they were always well behaved, but there were long intervals between their spankings, so I think it worked. Certainly, my grandchildren are always on their best behaviour when they visit me!
ER: I could imagine they would be, ma'am. Now, since Bared Affair concerns the proper way to discipline girls and young women, I wonder if you could go into more detail about how you raised your daughter.
VH: I was still spanking Rebecca in, well it would be 1972, when she was sixteen. Teenagers are so mischievous aren't they? But my rheumatism had started by then, and I'd resorted to using first a hairbrush, and then when her visits to my knee were becoming more frequent, a heavy long-handled clothes brush. Of course, there was a secret she was keeping from me that would have explained why she required discipline so often at that advanced age.  
ER: And what was that, Mrs Hobson?
'The heavy brush and the effort I needed to make an impression were causing me agony,' the grandmother says without irony.

VH: Don't interrupt, please, dear. It reveals a poor upbringing. We'll hear about Rebecca's secret in good time.
ER: Yes, ma'am.
VH:  Now, where was I? Oh yes, the rheumatism making spanking nearly as painful for me as it was for Rebecca. (Chuckling.) Anyway, the strain on my hand was getting worse. The heavy brush and the effort I needed to make an impression were causing me agony for hours afterwards. Sometimes I couldn't sleep all night! I decided I'd have to think of an alternative. At school, Edward had received occasional doses of the cane from the headmaster, like Robert before him, and they'd told us how much it hurt. I'd seen the marks, so I needed no convincing.
This was the answer to my problem, you see: the flexibility of the cane meant that the pressure inflicted was far greater than the effort involved in swinging it. But how to obtain one? Fortuitously, one of my husband's bridge partners was the local manager of a schools supplies company. One evening, we mentioned my plan to save my hand, and he said he knew of an importer, and would obtain a couple of canes for us as "trade samples."
ER: That was the start of your caning your children?
VH: Let me continue, please, Evonne. My husband's bridge partner was as good as his word, and a fortnight later he arrived on our doorstep with a long narrow parcel. Inside were two canes, both with curved handles. One was a malacca cane, the other bamboo. He said we could keep both, as none of the schools he supplied used corporal punishment. That was much to the detriment of class discipline, in his opinion!
I was ready for the trial, but of course I'm a fair mother, and if Becky -- we called her "Becky" in those days -- if Becky didn't transgress, then the cane would remain unused. We didn't tell the children of the new instruments, but Becky soon enough received a taste. The school secretary rang to say that Rebecca had been kept in for an hour for cheeking a teacher.
ER: Was this a regular occurrence?
VH: No, my daughter knew better than to cheek her elders. When Becky arrived home, she had a cheerful smile, and told me she'd been kept in for some misunderstanding in a class. If I'd known her secret, I'd have realised why she was in a good mood. Instead, I thought she was making light of a serious matter. I told her that the school had rung me, and cheeking a teacher was bringing our family name into disrepute, and I would not tolerate that. I said I thought a spanking was called for, and sent her to her room.
Five minutes later I found her waiting in her bedroom, in her school knicks and a T-shirt. She'd put out the chair for me to sit down whilst I spanked her, and the clothes brush was waiting on the edge of the bed. I told her to stand in front of the chair, and bend over, gripping the seat firmly.
At this point, I realised I'd never caned anyone before, nor had I seen anyone caned. At our school when I was a girl, you were caned on your hand. There must be a technique to it, but my husband was not due home for another hour. I couldn't keep Rebecca waiting, bent over as she was, all that time. An idea occurred to me.
ER: There was an expert on caning who was already home, wasn't there?
VH: Yes. My younger son, Edward, had witnessed quite a lot of it, as it turned out. I queried him in his bedroom for the details of what he'd seen.
"Oh, yes," he told me. He said that the headmaster hauled persistent offenders into the hall at assembly, and caned them in front of everyone, to frighten the boys into behaving.
He asked why I was so curious about it. I answered with a heartfelt plea from a mother to her child, explaining that my hand was hurting from spanking his big sister. "I know it's a cliché to say that spanking grieves the parent as much as the child, but in my case it's true."  I asked if he was willing to guide me as I caned Rebecca.
His face flushed a deep red. I remember the look very clearly. And he asked what Rebecca would think of his involvement. I answered righteously that Becky had no say in the matter. She had brought shame to our family in school, and I was going to make sure she didn't do it again.
Edward followed me, somewhat reluctantly, I'd say, and I returned to Rebecca's room. She had remained bent obediently across the back of the chair. I told her that her brother would witness her punishment, so that he could see what would happen to him in future if he misbehaved.
'If I hadn't had to spank [Rebecca] so often, perhaps my rheumetism wouldn't be so bad that I'd had to resort to the stick.'

Rebecca stood up, spinning round, and with a shocked look on her face said: "No way! I'm not having my little brother telling all his disgusting little school friends he saw me being spanked!"
ER: That sounds just like her, Mrs Hobson. (chuckling)
VH: This was no laughing matter, my dear. In any event, I promised her that her father would warm Edward's bottom if he spoke of it outside the family.
Rebecca reluctantly returned to her position, muttering under her breath. I signalled to Edward to demonstrate the required stance. He stood about two feet away from Rebecca, at her left side, opposite her rear. He then lifted the cane, and moved it very slowly through the air to just an inch over the target area. The cane covered both buttocks, with a slight overhang on the far side, and in a horizontal position.
He handed me the cane, and I took up his position. I remembered that our teachers always started by tapping our hands gently before the first blow. I assumed this was to ensure they were aiming accurately. I did the same to Rebecca, giving her two light taps, placed as close to Edward's demonstration as I could.
Rebecca leapt up in the air. She cried out in alarm when she saw me holding the cane. "You can't use that on me," she cried. "It's ... it's... inhuman!"
My response, of course, was to point out that we didn't find it "inhuman" that Edward was caned in school.  And anyway, I explained, if I hadn't had to spank her so often, perhaps my rheumatism wouldn't be so bad that I'd had to resort to the stick. I told her that if she didn't return to her position, I'd ask her father to do the honours.
ER: I'm sure that wasn't a proposition she relished, knowing Rebecca.
VH: Well, the threat was enough, and Rebecca once again bent over the chair.
Edward swished his hand to show me how fast he thought I should bring the cane down. I did as shown, and landed the cane fairly straight across the buttocks. Rebecca's scream showed me I'd found the spot. Her hands came behind her to rub her bottom, but I landed the cane fairly gently on the backs of her hands, and she slowly resumed position.
The next blow was equally accurate, but slightly higher. When Rebecca leapt up this time, I decided that I wasn't standing for this.
I told her to keep down until I gave permission to stand up. "Hold onto the chair, and don't try rubbing your bottom," I addressed her. "You can make as much noise as you want, but if you stand up again, I will hit harder, and for longer. If you keep still, we will stop after another four strokes. I know it hurts more than a spanking, but it will be over much more quickly, so we will both gain."
Remarkably, this worked. She grunted, but kept her position except for the involuntary shudders when each blow struck home. I was careful to keep to the same swing. I could try harder strokes if she misbehaved again, but I was hoping this might be the ultimate deterrent.
After the sixth stroke I signalled to Edward to leave the room, gave Becky a cuddle, and applied some soothing cream to her behind. I couldn't help noticing that her pants were damp in the liner. Maybe she'd had a little accident with the shock of the cane, I wondered?
ER: Now I think I have some idea what her "secret" was.
VH: Now, hush, young lady. This is my interview, not yours.
When my husband arrived home, I told him of the experimental caning. He was a little perturbed that I'd consulted Edward, but I said it would be a suitable warning to him to behave in future.
But was my technique the right one? Did other mothers know how to wield the hand, the hairbrush, the slipper, or any other spanking implement correctly, safely, with the minimum effort for the maximum effect? We decided it was extremely unlikely. They may have learnt from their mothers, but there was always a gap of several years between last receiving and first doling out punishments, and who was to say their mothers knew the correct technique?
I decided a little research was needed. There had been some stirrings in the press recently about abolishing corporal punishment in schools once and for all. I contacted our local paper, and suggested that it was newsworthy enough to warrant a poll of their readers. They were quite amenable to my suggestions, down to the very wording of the questions to be printed. I had an additional reason for suggesting it, of course!
ER: Which was?
VH: I'm coming to that, Evonne. Just be patient. I'd offered to sort and count the votes for the newspaper, and a week later there were over 400 of them. The results were interesting: of those with children at school, two thirds were in favour, of those without, just over half. But of course, the response reflects only those with a view and willing to write in, so the poll in reality was not going to be a true reflection of the population. But then the results were not my primary purpose.
I delivered the statistics, and the voting slips, to the paper the next morning. What I didn't mention was that I'd had a late night copying all the details of pro-spanking parents with children at school, nearly 100 names and addresses in all.
ER: Was that ethical?
VH: My, you are worried about petty details, and no mistake! Let me continue, please, unless you'd like to end this interview prematurely.
ER: Sorry, Mrs Hobson.
Mrs Hobson ran an informal survey through her local newspaper. Interestingly, more parents supported spanking in schools than non-parents.

VH: Tsk, tsk, girl. Patience is a virtue given to few young women these days. I came from a generation who knew when to hold their tongue. Now, the tricky part was approaching these people without giving away my source.
ER: Aha! So you did have ethical qualms, after all?
VH: Not at all, child. It was all in the name of research, after all. In any event, I wrote to each of them saying that there had been some discussion of school punishments in the local paper recently, and I was forming a group of those who used corporal punishment in the home. We could lobby the schools to ensure that this was still available for teachers as a deterrent.
ER: So, you're saying you told a fib, right?
VH: Dear, you are beginning to try my patience. Rebecca can tell you that that is not something a wise girl does. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Thirty-one people responded favourably, several of whom I knew from our children's schools.
Over the next week, I telephoned each respondent, and asked them a few questions. I wanted to know the ages of their children, how often they were spanked, what implement if any was used, and did they have any difficulties in executing the punishments.
ER: What were the results?
VH: I'm just coming to that. So impatient, these girls of today! The hand, spanking over the knee, on underpants or pyjamas, was the favourite, of course. But several parents used a belt, a few others had a slipper or plimsoll, nearly a quarter spanked with a hairbrush or clothes brush, and two used a cane. Several varied according to the age or sex of the child and the severity of the crime, so some parents kept two implements.
In all, roughly half the parents used something other than their hand. For my purposes, I decided to focus on this set, inviting them to a Sunday evening meeting. I even went so far as to suggest they bring along their implements to start a discussion on methods.
There was no way that Becky and Edward could be kept in the dark. So I decided to tell them my plans. I intended, first, to organise a group ready to campaign for the retention of corporal punishment in schools. You see, Evonne, I wasn't fibbing when I sent my original letters.
Second, I sought to discuss methods of punishment in the home, and find out the best way to wield a cane, brush or slipper safely and effectively. I told them I'd be using an old dressmaking dummy in the loft. "We'll bend it over a chair, and tie a cushion to the backside, so that we can study techniques."
ER: And how did they respond?
VH: Edward was shocked by both strategies, but Becky was momentarily quiet, thinking it through. She explained that she didn't think a dummy would give me any idea of technique. It wouldn't respond, so I would have no idea whether someone was just tickling the recipient, or leathering them. She thought I needed a real person to receive the strokes.
I told her I couldn't see one of the parents volunteering.
To my surprise, she said she'd be willing to do it. "If, that is, it would teach you the proper way to punish me, so that you don't hurt your hand. I also wouldn't want to suffer by your lack of technique."
ER: Your daughter seems a brave girl.
VH: I thought so at the time. Only later did I conclude she had an ulterior motive. But we'll come to that in time.
Coming next month in the conclusion of our interview with the famed founder of the "School of Kindness" ladies' spanking schools: Mrs Hobson explains how the school's inaugural meeting came about, as well as a memorable demonstration with the cane.
Evonne Richardson writes fiction and researches articles on lesbian themes for Bared Affair. She lives with her domestic partner Rebecca, Mrs Hobson's daughter.

(c) Bared Affair  (##)
February 2003 Issue

    SECTION 301: U.S.
    WIDOWED JEWISH FATHER, 46, living outside Dallas, in search of Jewish woman aged 30 and up to care for my daughters in a loving but stern way. They miss their mother and they only seem to respond to Old Testament-style correction when they misbehave. The oldest, who is 16, particularly needs a firm maternal hand to guide her. Will provide separate room and auto, plus generous allowance for personal expenses and to spend on daughters' needs. Must provide references and agree to attend weekly services. Box 1234
    UNDERSTUDIES ARE SOUGHT for the Graham Family Dinner Theater's performance of Oliver Goldsmith's under-appreciated classic, "She Loves Him In Spite of Herself." Leading lady Marla Maples requires relief during rehearsals and some performances of the play's pivotal scene, in which her character, a 22-year-old woman in 18th Century England, is confronted by her mother, who wields a birch rod to great effect. (Our director, the famed Method School devotee Charles Clarice, is very insistent about the need for verisimilitude in this scene.) To qualify, actresses must be a member of both the SAG and Stunt Doubles of America unions. "Auditions" will be held at the mansion of our generous patron and benefactress, Miss Carol Heinz. (Loose-fitting attire is recommended.) Box 5678

Canes Don't Hurt People, People Hurt People
Juanita Carberry's memoir tells a harrowing tale of emotional and physical abuse.
By Steff
Juanita Carberry with Nicola Tyrer, Child of the Happy Valley, a Memoir (London: William Heinemann, 1999, 1988) 193 pp. £17.99.
    "Had the fates decided I was going to grow up a slut or a monster they could not have found a more fertile nursery than Seremai, my childhood home in the White Highlands of Kenya." --Juanita Carberry
Exotic, romantic, and tragic are best words I can find to characterise this intriguing book. It covers the life of a colonial girl growing up amongst some of the most bizarre circumstances imaginable. This is the story of a child with no parents in the true sense of the word.
Juanita Carberry was born in Kenya's "Happy Valley" in 1925 after her father had failed in several strategies to have her aborted. The Happy Valley was a region in the Kenyan highlands populated with the richest and laziest settlers in the British Empire; the term "Happy" derives from a native word that also means intoxicated.
It is aptly suited. Drink, and occasionally drugs, were surpassed only at times by sex as the White inhabitants' foremost preoccupations. Amongst the wealthy and corrupt with whom they associated, the Carberry's were perhaps the richest and most decadent -- no mean accomplishment given their company. For their daughter Juanita, life was a mixture of an exotic natural environment, an outlandish and promiscuous social milieu, terrible neglect, and punishment.
Her first beating came around age six or seven.
It was while we were on holiday in the South of France that June gave me my first beating. ...June ... forbade me to have the creature in my room. I obeyed -- albeit reluctantly. A few days later they found cat mess under my bed. It must have gone in there without my knowing and got shut in. I was accused of disobedience -- compounded, when I denied it, by lying. June made me pull my knickers down and beat me with a shoe tree [a wooden shoe insert used to maintain a shoe's shape]. It was excruciating. It had a spring in it which drew blood and left horrendous marks. (pp. 70-71)

This was to be the first of many harsh punishments. "It took various forms," she writes. "Often I would be locked in my room, sometimes for several days, deprived of regular meals. There were other, more bizarre punishments. June could be vindictive in an unpredictable way, punishing me for things I didn't even know were transgressions." Juanita's relationship with June, her stepmother, evidently took somewhat of a love-hate nature.
There is clearly a difference between the beatings she received by and at the discretion of her stepmother and those given by "the Rutt," her second governess –- especially when done at the behest of her father. Her stepmum's beatings seem to have been much more spontaneous and the result of a loss of temper; in contrast her father seems to have been much more pathological about such things.
The fact that she was frequently in the care of male servants and never abused, but constantly feared her official caregivers, says something about the moral disparity between the servants and their supposed social superiors in this in mid-century Kenyan plantation household.
Despite his own spoilt upbringing, or perhaps because of it, her father (whom she coldly refers to as "JC") seems to have developed a sort of sadism, but not one of a deliberately sexual nature. Juanita speculates that he may have been impotent; it would account for his tolerance of his wife's open promiscuity. "JC never beat me himself," she writes, "but liked to be there when someone else did. There may even have been a voyeuristic element in his relationship with June."
From just after her fourteenth birthday until just after she turned sixteen Juanita lived under the domination of three of the most wicked and selfish people in Kenya: her father, stepmother, and new governess, Isabel Rutt. They purposely isolated her from contact with relatives and family friends and often conspired against her.
    I did not hate June Carberry [stepmother]. I did not even hate JC, though I was mortally afraid of him. But I did come to hate Isabel Rutt... [She was] vicious and manipulative... The fact that JC was profoundly uncaring about my welfare gave her carte blanche when it came to punishment and she laid about me physically with impunity... She told tales, which got me into trouble, and then gleefully administered the worst hidings I ever endured. (p. 127)

Her fourteenth and fifteenth years thus became a living hell: her governess "was always on the look-out for reasons to punish me. She had discovered that, though he was never prepared to whip me himself, John Carberry liked to watch, so she was at her most creative when he was at Seremai."
Juanita's stepmother insisted on reading all her mail, something Juanita detested, as one might expect a 15-year-old faced with such intrusion to do. It led to the worst beating of Juanita's life.
    ...I received a letter from a girl called Hilda who lived in Nairobi. Holding out her hand June commanded, 'Give me the letter.'
     ...It seemed so unwarranted an intrusion into my privacy -- and by people whose moral authority was deeply questionable -- that I decided to stand firm. 'No. I won't.'
     'Give me the bloody letter,' bellowed June.
     'No. You've always told me it's wrong to read other people's letters.'
     At this, June, outraged at being thwarted, lunged at the letter. As she did so I decided I would sooner miss reading it myself than give it to her. I tossed it on to the fire.
     All hell broke loose. The incident was reported to JC. He ordered that I should receive a beating for the double offence of disobedience and defiance. The beating was not to take place at once for JC liked to turn the screw by telling me that I would be beaten but not specifying when, to give me time to sweat. When the time came JC issued detailed instructions. I was to pull down my pants and lie across one of the armchairs with both my hands touching the floor [note to American readers: 'pants' in British usage means underwear, not trousers]. With JC looking on the Rutt took the rhino-hide whip and gave me twelve strokes, more than I had ever had before. It was excruciating. My back and bottom were a mass of blood, with angry welts which remained for days. 'Beat her until she screams', I heard JC say. I remember thinking, 'I won't scream -- just to spite him,' but I did. (pp. 147-148)

From the descriptions of the beatings she provides, the use of the terms "beating" and "hiding," and the reference to her stepmother using any implement "at hand," one gathers that she was usually if not always punished with an implement. The two incidents described make it clear that these beatings were done on the bare bottom, but it's hard to say whether she mentions this because it was the exception or the norm. The fact that 12 strokes with a whip was considered an unusually high number would suggest that a smaller number of hard strokes with an implement was the norm.
Juanita's assessment of her parents and caregivers seems at first glance to be remarkably judicious. She carefully weighs all possibilities when assessing them and tries to see from their points of view without making assumptions. However, one wonders whether there is not another side to some of the things she describes. It certainly seems likely that she was a very wilful and rebellious young woman; it is hard to see how she could not be.
This is not, however, a sob story by someone trying to make the most out of victimisation. Life on the plantation of her childhood included tropical disease, mongoose bites, encounters with dangerous animals, riding injuries, and a host of other physical discomforts that add meaning to her use of the terms "excruciating" and "brutal" to describe the corporal punishment she endured. In spite of the cold bitterness she feels towards her parents she is greatly appreciative of some aspects of her childhood and realises very well the extent to which her family's affluence was the product of exploiting Africans.
This book is thoroughly readable. I find the prose eloquent but not over-embellished. It is difficult to know the extent to which the writing is the product of Juanita's hand or her authorial aid Nicola Tyrer; in any event, the product is a straight-forward account that draws upon the richness of mid-century colonial Africa.
The BBC produced a fictionalised account of Juanita's life in the film The Happy Valley. Juanita at no point makes any reference to this film, even though it was produced before the book. It has three corporal punishment scenes, which appear to be only vaguely based upon her actual experiences. In the first two she is caned over shorts by a character who represented The Rutt, known as Miss Tapsell ("Tappy"), as her father watches. In the last one she is punished over knickers with a sjambok (a rhino-hide whip) until she passes out, with her father taking over from "Tappy" partway through. The scenes are performed with an almost cruel fidelity to the experience of being beaten.
The last scene clearly conflicts with Juanita's memoir, since she takes pains to point out that her father never directly participated in the punishments. All three beatings in the film are done at the order of her father, as were many of the real beatings she suffered. However, it is clear from the book that often corporal punishment was inflicted solely at the discretion of her stepmother or governess.
However, the troubles of Juanita's youth were by no means their sole doing. The corrupt society around her had no use for an unwanted child, and other characters in her life were violent and neglectful in their own right. In short, the Happy Valley was for many pre-adults obviously not a very happy place to a child.
Steff is a founding editor of Bared Affair living somewhere in the British Commonwealth.

(c) Bared Affair  (##)
February 2003 Issue

    THE PARENT-TEACHER ASSOCIATION of Greater Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, will be hosting a special presentation this Thursday night as part of its "For Ladies Only" series on mother-daughter issues. Renowned child psychologist Cathy Klowitz and her daughter Kelly are in town for their tour to promote their book, "Thanks for the Spanks: Motherly Discipline In Perspective," on the subject of women's reflections on maternal punishment and how they ultimately benefited as adults.
    Dr. Klowitz, mother of three and grandmother of one, and her youngest child Kelly, 24, have agreed to give a demonstration from their book's twelfth chapter, "How -- and Why -- To Punish A Teenager." Attendees will witness four different methods of keeping a "big girl" under control while she is being disciplined, including the traditional over-the-knee approach, which the Klowitz's book calls "still the most effective way to make an impression."
    The presentation will be held at 7pm in the gymnasium of Wilkes-Barre East High, with a coffee and donut reception to follow. Both mothers and their older daughters are encouraged to attend. (Younger children may find the demonstration disturbing.)

Cold Knees on Cold Floors
The spanking of a future newspaper columnist on a winter's night.
By "Sam"
    "As one who was regularly beaten with the back of a wooden hairbrush at boarding school by a nun with a moustache, I feel reasonably qualified to comment on the Government's new consultative paper about smacking." --A writer in The Independent, January 2000
Schools were run much differently in England of the 1950s than they are today. Especially boarding schools, where the teachers and administrators were the unquestioned lords (or ladies) of their domain. Although the events on the evening of February 7, 1958, were perhaps a bit extreme in their severity, they were emblematic of the degree to which teachers could act with impunity. (Pardon the pun.)
Our story comes to us from a regular newspaper columnist who now writes with a certain degree of fondness about her experience. In 1958 Sue A. was a headstrong lass of 14 years, attending an all girls' Catholic boarding school in the country. Attached to the St Francis de Sales convent, all of the school's teachers were nuns. The headmistress at the time held one of the highest positions of authority in the convent.
"All the nuns carried their weapon of choice hidden somewhere in their habits," writes Mrs A. "Some preferred a vicious tawse, others a stinging ruler, and still others were armed with a wooden hairbrush." The headmistress kept a cane, and reasonably enough, "six of the best" was the most feared punishment among the students.
Corporal punishment from the sisters was frequent and nothing extraordinary, Sue tells us. Canings, of course, were another matter, made all the more fearsome by the public ceremony associated with them. The headmistress delivered the strokes without pity at assembly, over the shrieks of the recipient and the gasps of the audience.
Studying the Desktop
In class, the teachers tended to deliver a single lightening-quick blow to the hand or face. The effect was more embarrassing than truly painful, even when the ruler came down on unsuspecting knuckles. Particularly unruly students were sent to the corner, as the nuns preferred not to interrupt their lesson plan to discipline a child. Then, at the end of class, as other students were filing out, a girl (or sometimes two or three) would be summoned from the corner to the front. If she were lucky, she would be dismissed with a withering scolding punctuated with one angry smack on the bottom as she left the room. When she was unlucky, she was told to bend over the teacher's desk and raise her skirts.
The ordeal that followed would always be painful, but spankings in class were frequent enough that nobody suffered any particular stigma from having "studied the desktop," as the girls mockingly referred to them.  
Dormitory punishments were, if anything, even more common. The nun in charge of Sue's wing of the dormitory was big-boned and "had dark hair over her lip," in the delicate words of one of the now-middle-aged classmates. Sister Mary Luke dominated the room, and although the girls liked to make fun of her facial hair behind her back, none of them ever dared to laugh about it in her presence. They feared her hairbrush too much.
Dormitory punishments were, if anything, even more common.

As she was in charge of the wing's girls after school hours, Sister Mary Luke acted more like a parent than the regular day teachers did. She took that authority farther than most. Trading notes with classmates from other parts of the dormitory, Sue found that her group was the only one to suffer the indignity of having to lower their knickers prior to punishment. Other nuns also indulged in taking their girls "over the knee," which was embarrassing enough when one is a teenager. But only Sister Mary Luke punished them on naked skin.
Nudity was not particularly scandalous. The girls saw each other when they dressed and bathed, as did the nuns who supervised them. Sister Mary Luke might have even been inured to girls' bodies by that time in her career, having worked in the school for ten years. But when it came to dropping that last protective layer of clothing before the application of the painful backside of a wooden brush, it was hard not to feel all the more defeated.  
Sue remembers that one of the most frequent causes of punishment among her friends was talking after lights-out. Forbidden, of course, but few sisters took their enforcement duties as seriously as Mary Luke. "We would be talking," Sue tells us, and "the dormitory door would burst open. The light would snap on and Sister Mary Luke, tall, gaunt and moustachioed, would rasp: 'Silence.'"  This would be followed, more times than not, by the nun taking a seat on one of the beds and summoning each of the girls she believed to have been guilty.
"Pajama bottoms in the middle," the sister would order, and the girl in question would know her fate was sealed. Down came the bottoms, and up went the girl's bare bottom, over the nun's knee for "a walloping." In Sue's words, "Sister Mary Luke did not do things by halves," and her hairbrush always left a painful imprint: red, sometimes bruised bottoms, and raw, teary faces.
Warm Beds, Cold Bedrooms
On a cold night in February 1958, Sue and a friend were sharing one thin bed for warmth, and several other girls had joined friends. It was during a particularly bitter spell of frigid weather, and the dormitory rooms were not heated. Although the girls benefited from heavy bedding and thick flannel pajamas, they nonetheless remained comfortable only by pairing up.
Such behavior was not encouraged by the nuns, but they tended to deliberately overlook it most of the time. Sue and her girlfriend were whispering in bed after dark, trying to keep their conversation to a low enough level to avoid detection. But somehow, their noise aroused Sister Mary Luke from her perch just outside.
As usual, the night was interrupted by the nun's bold entry. The lights came on and the sister ordered all the girls out of bed. Each one took her turn lowering her drawers and submitting to the painful beatings. "It was no better and no worse than usual," Sue writes. "But I really resented it when she told me to lower my PJs. It was bad enough that we were the only girls in the school who had to do it, but I found it especially awful because it was so cold. My bare feet were cold on the floor, and now she wanted me to bare more of my body?" But Sue, even as a stubborn fourteen-year-old, knew better than to argue prior to a smacking. "It could have only made it worse to resist, so I just scowled and did what she told me."
Afterwards, she says she quickly pulled her bottoms back up and waited, hopping from foot to foot in the icy room, for the rest of the girls to be punished. They were permitted to return to their beds only when Sister Mary Luke stood up to leave.
But Sue and her friend made the blunder, she tells us, of getting back in bed together before the nun had left the room. The sister told the girls that they were not permitted to share beds for the rest of that evening, as they would find it too tempting to talk and the sister would only be forced to return and spank them again.
Most of the other girls complied with the nun's order, albeit unhappily. But it was too much for Sue and her companion. She writes that she insisted that it was too cold to sleep in bed alone, and that she was not going to leave her friend's bed that evening.
That was a mistake, she admits now. "There was no way that Sister Mary Luke was going to back down in that situation. She was too fond of bossing us girls around, and I can't imagine that she would have found my demands worthy of much sympathy."
'I'll show you what cold is!'
The nun came to their bed and ordered both girls out of it. When they at first refused, Sister Mary Luke removed her hairbrush from its hiding place and asked if they both wanted another spanking. This was motivation enough for Sue's friend, who quickly hopped out of bed and was dispatched across the room with a stinging blow.
Still Sue remained under the warmth of the covers, despite the nun's order to get out. Finally, her eyes burning with fury, Sister Mary Luke gathered up the blankets, stripped them from the bed, and hurled them aside.
"You think you're cold, young lady?" she yelled, as Sue remembers it. "I'll show you what cold is!" She pulled the girl out of bed and told her to lower her pajama bottoms again. With an angry sigh, Sue did as she was told, and was surprised when the nun's hands reached in and pulled them all the way down. Then they came up to her pajama shirt and made quick work of the buttons. In an instant, Sue stood before her tormentor, completely naked from top to bottom.
"I was mortified," the woman writes in recollection. "I can't say that I was that troubled to be undressed among my peers, but it was just awful to have been stripped naked by the nun like that." Sister Mary Luke capped off the punishment by pulling Mary Luke by the ear over toward the window, which was the coldest, draftiest part of the room.
"She ordered me onto my knees. I was already shivering in the cold, but when my kneecaps met the icy floor, I felt my legs go numb." Sue was made to remain there, in the cold and dark, for what she estimates to have been nearly an hour. "By the time she came back and turned on the light again to get me, my fingertips were blue. The other girls said that they'd never seen someone whose lips were as pale and whose ears were as red."
'What I mainly remember was not the beating but the cold.'

Out came the sister's hateful hairbrush again. "You wanted to be warmed up, did you? I'll warm you up, girl!" she growled. Over Sue's increasingly frantic pleas -- her bottom was still sore and marked from the night's prior smacking -- Sister Mary Luke dragged the teenager over to a bed and laid her over it. She improvised a method to control the squawking child by sitting on her bare back. Spreading her own legs, the nun was able to adjust her body and her robes so that Sue's backside was an available target between the thighs.
"She walloped me, but good!" Sue writes. "As I said before, Sister Mary Luke did not like to do things by halves." And, she ruefully notes, in that position her knees were still resting on the frigid floor. Regrettably, this was no counterbalance to the burning of her bottom.
"What I mainly remember was not the beating but the cold," she concludes. She had suffered through many smackings in her short life, but never had she been forced to remain naked through a night as frigid as this one. At the conclusion of the lengthy hairbrushing, Sue was returned to bed (without the benefit of blankets or pajamas), where she continued to shiver and cry beneath a thin sheet. After the nun left, taking the bedding with her, each girl gave her one blanket from her own bed, and finally one of them got in with her and held her until she fell asleep.
It was an extraordinary experience, and yet, years later, Sue A. remembers it almost with fondness. "We all joked about those hairbrush beatings at old girls' reunions," she writes. At the time, it was quite traumatic, but within a matter of months her life was preoccupied with other things -- boys at a "brother" academy, advancing to the next level in her studies, and planning for her summer vacation.
"I do not resent those spankings now," the writer tells us. "That night in February was rather extreme, and yet Sister Mary Luke was only keeping order the best way she knew how." Although times have changed and nuns are no longer permitted to beat their students in English schools, there is nonetheless a desire among some women to return to a simpler time, when unheated dormitories and red-hot hairbrushes were the worst problems a girl had to concern herself with.
"Sam" is Sue A.'s American-born granddaughter. This is her first article for the magazine.

(c) Bared Affair  (##)
February 2003 Issue

The Belle Curve
Seven tips to buck up a less-than-perfect backside.
By Dr. Erin Conan Azareth
Every girl has her own private demons. For some of us, it's our appearance. Even a girl with the healthiest self-image can feel inadequate when she's "bottoms up" across her disciplinarian's lap. We can't feel happy unless we're sure we're looking good. Casting aside the philosophical debates about the Beauty Myth, what's a girl to do when she feels that her rear leaves something to be desired?
For one thing, she should recognize that she is not alone. Self-consciousness rules the lives of most women between the ages of six and sixty. But we have an answer: common-sense beauty and fashion techniques for sculpting your buns into something to be proud of -- even if the only person who notices is the woman who spanks them.
1. Stretch and exercise regularly on your own. The best way to work on your figure is to go the perspiration route: jumping jacks, biking, swimming, jazzercise. The most important factor is not how, but how often -- it's important to develop the self-discipline to make yourself do things for your own good. Be prepared to commit a regular amount of time each day, at least six days a week, to see results.
    Tip: The best-selling trade paperback Iron Buns has some great recommendations for stretching exercises you can do without a partner. One of our favorites is the "chair pull" -- with knees and legs taut, bend into the back of a chair, and stretch your arms down to grab the seat. Pull firmly, until you feel the burn in your backside and upper thighs. (Former English schoolgirls may be extra familiar with this position.)
2. Work out with a friend. Another way to motivate yourself to tone up is to find a gal pal to exercise with you. She can help spur you along, support you when you perform the more precarious stretching exercises, measure your progress, and give you a swift kick (or slap) to the rear when you're lagging behind. And you can return the favor!
    Tip: Try to find a partner who is similar in build to you -- if you are vastly misaligned with each other, it could lead to envy and resentment. Also, depending on how close a friend she is, try exercising in the nude. It will make it that much easier to see how far you've gone.
3. Consider superficial measures. Short of liposuction, cellulite creams are the only safe method of firming up your thighs and backside overnight. But it is not without its downside -- the initial tingle on application can become downright jarring if you haven't had your morning cup of coffee yet, and the smell is reminiscent of your brother's tube of Ben Gay.
    Tip: Because of the intimate nature of these products, they are best applied by yourself, using a "rear view" mirror, or by a trusted female family member. Also, these creams are not designed to be applied to a freshly spanked bum -- the plant extracts and enzymes that form their active ingredients can inflame an already hot rear.
4. Go Hollywood -- or, at least, handle this issue the way the starlets do. Not every actress can afford to take her buns down to the local cosmetic surgeon for resculpting, so they do the next best thing: dress it up appropriately. Black skirts are ever popular to energize sympathetic imaginations, while white and other light colors should be avoided.
    Tip: Select underwear that holds and moulds the cheeks nicely. Thongs are not the way to go here. And if you're really looking to emulate the stars, do what perky young things with less-than-exciting rears have been doing for years: have a friend stretch electrical tape across the back of the cheeks, just above where they meet the thigh, to turn a droop into a jaw-dropping draw.
5. Diet and diet pills... NOT. Diet? Appetite control pills? Get real -- this is the new century, not vintage 1981. Respect your body! Eat right, including a regimen that balances carbs and proteins with fruits, veggies, and grains. But don't starve yourself, and don't deceive yourself with chemicals. You are beautiful, no matter what your size -- which brings us to. . . .
6. Grow to accept your body and yourself. Perhaps the most difficult task because of its psychological nature, this is also the most important. Stop judging yourself on your ability to attract a man (or a woman, if that's what you prefer). Love yourself for who you are. Most of us can't escape our genes, and those who try are often made miserable by the effort, so don't pretend you could be a size 6 if your mother has been a size 12 for the last thirty years.  
    Tip: We can't all have Barbie Doll bodies, and do you know what I think? All the better! Variety is the spice of life, and when it comes to backsides, a happy woman's butt is usually prettier than a tortured gal's, no matter what the dimension, because a warm smile adds a lot.
7. Spankings can help. No, really. As unpleasant as it is, corporal punishment can be a boon in this department. The bad news: it's not possible to slap a backside into a firm, well-toned specimen. The good news: the peripheral activities do help -- stretched out over someone's lap, you exercise muscles that would be rarely activated otherwise. The poor punished cheeks pucker like lips; the thighs scissor better than on any exercise bike; the hips tremble and twist so much that they're often slippery with sweat. If it weren't for the sting, this would be a wonderful workout!
    Tip: The next time you're hauled over someone's knee, don't hold back -- let loose, and thrash about like you're riding a wild horse. It may not save your rear end from any smacks, but when it's all said and done, your bottom will be grateful for the chance to dance. (It's not a bad aerobic exercise, either!)

Erin Conan Azareth is the chief general surgeon in the physical rehabilitation wing of the Sisters of Mercy Hospital of Dublin, Ireland.

(c) Bared Affair  (##)
February 2003 Issue

    Bared Affair is seeking reporters, writers, photographers and illustrators for upcoming issues of the magazine. Payment is $0/hour, but the experience is priceless. Special perqs include the opportunity to participate in (or observe) demonstrations of products and techniques.
    Interested contributors should contact Angie, Editrix in Chief, at this address:
    (Please include a statement that you are over 18 in real life. Thank you!)
The Disciplined Athlete
A keynote address by one of the nation's leading coaches of female players.
By Mary Curry
Tri-State Women Coaches Association
Summer Coaching School Program of Events

10:30 KEYNOTE ADDRESS: "The Disciplined Athlete"
  Mary Curry, Director of Women's Athletics at East State University
  Convention Hall 1
  Sponsored by:
  * Uniforms by Design – All of your uniform needs in one place.
  * Paddles Plus – Large selection of paddle designs to meet any program needs. Ask about our custom artwork.
  Everything you needed to know about discipline but were afraid to ask
  Coach Curry, Convention 1-A
  Unnecessary Fouls: Motivating your players to keep your opponent off the foul line
  Coach Sue Anderson, Convention 1-C
  What do I do when I have 80 Players? Drills to keep large junior high programs in line
  Coach Linda Bingham, Convention 1-B
  Sweeper, Center Half, Striker: Controlling the center of the field
  Coach Christine Benson, Convention 1-A

Before her elevation to the Director of Women's Athletics at East State University, Mary Curry coached her school to a national championship in women's soccer. Several of the girls she mentored went on to distinguish themselves in the Olympics. But her programs are not only recognized for their prowess on the field.  Eastern State consistently has the one of the highest graduation rates for Division I schools.
Erin Taylor, a former player and now high school coach, observed in an affectionate introduction that ESU "can probably boast the lowest arrest rate, too," compared to all the bad press experienced by other national programs. In Ms Taylor's words, "ESU's success and reputation all boils down to discipline. The disciplined athlete is going to be a successful athlete, and ESU knows how to instill discipline in its players."
One of the guiding forces behind this sense of discipline has been Coach Curry. Her keynote address to the Tri-State Women Coaches Association addresses this very topic -- she is recognized as "an expert" by players and fellow coaches alike. Bared Affair is pleased to print the text of Coach Curry's speech in its entirety.

Thank you for that lovely introduction, Erin. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a little discipline. When Erin first arrived at ESU, we had to work a bit on manners and respect, but look how far it's taken her. Although my players will never believe it, I shed many tears when I saw several of my former players, including Erin here, receive the gold medal in the '96 Olympics.
What exactly is discipline? The definition I like best is that discipline is what a person does when no one else is looking and no one else will ever find out about it. Discipline is not just about punishment and reward. We all have to do things that we will not be punished or rewarded for, but we do them just the same. The challenge we face as coaches is in instilling our players with the discipline they need to grow up to be responsible citizens who will be an asset to our community while at the same time teaching them the X's and O's of their sport.
Unfortunately, I see too many schools and communities that worry more about the win-loss record than the integrity of their players. To me, the two go hand in hand. If I have disciplined players, I can teach them how to win. Until they are disciplined, however, I can teach them very little.
The question is, how does a coach instill strong self-discipline in her players? The key thing is the example I set as the girls' coach. If I expect my players to be on time for team functions, then I must be early. Whatever I expect of my players, behavior-wise, I must be a positive example of that. Additionally, I must have clear team rules and expectations and be consistent in how I enforce them. If I am going to penalize a girl for bad language, I must be prepared to punish every player for every instance. I can't have different standards for different players or for different occasions.
Most importantly, I must distinguish between lack of discipline and lack of skill. I have to be able to judge whether the mistake a player made was because she lacked the skill to do better or if she lacked the effort to do what she is able to do. If she lacks the skill, then it is my job to teach her the skill. If she has the ability but chooses not to use it, then it's time to discipline her.
Now we get to the big question in how to discipline athletes so that they are an asset to their program, school and community. Even though we have few multi-sport athletes at ESU, all coaches have similar rules and standards for their players. Professors never have to wonder, when they're dealing with a naughty volleyball, soccer, softball or basketball player, whether her coach will care that she skipped class or acted up. The professors at ESU know that we tolerate no misbehavior from any athlete, male or female.
If you're like most parents in the tri-state area, you wouldn't hesitate to spank your girl for breaking a family rule, right?

Once we've decided to all follow the same set of standards for all of our athletes, the next question becomes: how do we penalize the athlete who breaks the rule? When I coached the women's soccer team at ESU, I viewed myself not only as the girls' coach but also as their mother away from home, and I treated them as my children.
How many of you are mothers? I see a large number of hands. How would you punish your child at home for deliberately breaking a known family rule? If you're like most parents in the tri-state area, you probably wouldn't hesitate to spank, would you? Many were the times I was sent to cut a switch growing up. Sometimes I think cutting the switch was almost as bad as the spanking I got with it. Although I hated those tannings I got growing up, I know they helped mould me into a responsible woman.
I won't ask for a show of hands on how many of you got paddled by your own coaches, but since this is the tri-state area, I assume I would see a large number of hands going up. I already see a number of heads nodding. Just as the paddlings you got from your old coaches helped you become productive citizens, a spanking from you could do your own athletes a world of good.
When Erin Taylor said in her introduction that I busted her butt a number of times while she played for me, she wasn't just speaking figuratively; I really did paddle her.
The hard part for most of us is being consistent in carrying out discipline, especially paddling. It's easy enough to tell a player to take a lap or do some pushups. It's a lot harder to tell her to bend over and swat her with a board. One thing we need to remember though is that we do our players a disservice when we are inconsistent. If a certain behavior earns a paddling today, that same behavior must earn a paddling tomorrow. If you choose not to paddle, or your school system won't allow it, then whatever you use as your consequence must also be consistent.
Nothing will hurt your program more than your players not knowing exactly how much rope you will give them before they hang themselves. The amount of rope should not be much longer for a senior than it is for a freshman. In fact, I might have an even shorter rope for my seniors than I do for my freshmen because the senior has been in my program for four years and should be well aware of my expectations by now.
How many of you have authority to spank, but for whatever reason, have not used it? I see a few hands. I'm not that surprised since you are the Dr. Spock generation, after all. I think if you talked to your fellow coaches who do paddle, you would find it a valuable tool to use. I'd like to go over when to punish, then for our paddling novices, how to spank, and last of all, what to do after you've given the paddling.
First of all, I would reserve the paddle for breaking team rules. I don't paddle for genuine mistakes made in a drill or during games. However, I would paddle for poor effort if I felt the cause was the athlete not taking care of herself or just being lackadaisical. We have to look out for girls who aren't getting enough rest or eating properly. If a girl is not taking care of her body, then she may find me taking care of her backside. If it's a poor attitude causing poor performance, then I'll adjust that attitude with a sore bottom. If a player knows my rules and breaks them, then I treat that as defiance. To me, defiance deserves a paddling.
So what is the best way to paddle your players? First of all, I believe that discipline should be a private matter between the player and her coach. We should praise in public and punish in private. It's embarrassing enough for a teen girl to be spanked. We should not seek to humiliate her by doing it in front of her teammates.
An exception is that I would paddle players together who misbehaved together. If I have two players who break curfew together, then I will punish them in front of each other. However, if I have two players who broke curfew separately, then I will discipline each of them in private. Another exception is the team captain. If I feel that the captain's actions were detrimental to the team, then I will consider punishing her in front of the team.
Discipline should be a private matter between the player and her coach.

How you paddle will in part be dictated by the place in which you administer the spanking. Personally, I like having the girl lean across my desk and grab the far side. However, many coaches' offices are set up with the desks up against the wall. In that case, I would have the girl lean over the desk, placing her elbows on it. By having her place her elbows on the desk, she has to bend over enough to make a clear target of her bottom. I'm not really a fan of having the girl bend over and grab her ankles. In that position, she's not very well balanced and could easily fall. The only thing I want hurting after a paddling is her bottom. If you want to have her bend over a chair, just make sure it's not one that rolls.
Most of the time, I used a paddle on my players, but there were a few occasions when I took a girl over my knee for an old fashioned spanking. I realize some districts don't allow such contact, but if yours does, it can be an effective way to give a girl some much needed mothering.
A paddling is rather cold, and its coldness can be effective. It sends the message that I'm punishing the behavior, not the person. However, sometimes I can sense that a girl is rebelling against authority and is in desperate need of a motherly influence. I see this mostly in girls whose mothers stop acting like the mother and more like a pal. In those cases, a sound hand spanking over my knee sends a message that I'm not going to give up on that girl.
If I remember correctly, I believe Erin got such a spanking her junior year. I could see a definite positive change in her demeanor after that. A hand spanking over your lap can provide a bonding experience to the girl who needs a motherly authority in her life. In such cases, I believe that bare bottom is most effective. If it is allowed in your district, then I recommend that the coach pull down the girl's shorts and panties, much like a mother would bare her young child's bottom in preparation for a sound spanking. Although I think such spankings can be very beneficial for some players, I urge you to thoroughly check the rules of your district before taking an athlete over your knee.
A sound hand spanking over my knee sends a message that I'm not going to give up on a girl.

Once you have paddled or spanked a girl for her misconduct, the matter should be considered over. There is no need to bring up again what she did wrong. Also, I don't think you need to constantly remind your players that if they misbehave, they'll be paddled.
If you have clearly spelled out the rules and consequences of your program, then they know what will happen if they break the rules. At the very most, I might tell a player that if she does whatever she did again, she'll be paddled. But if I tell her that, then I better make sure that I paddle her if she does it again. Few things are worse than threatening a punishment and not carrying it out.
Before the girl you've just spanked leaves your office, there is one last thing you might need to do. You might need to give her a hug. Many players will take a paddling as the price of having made a poor choice and can simply walk away from it. Other players may feel a sense of tremendous guilt and need to be reassured that you punished the misconduct, but you still love the one who misbehaved. These are the girls who need a hug to reassure them that they are still a valued part of your program.
However you choose to discipline your players, be it with a paddle or with running, remember that the key is to be consistent. A disciplined athlete will be a success in life, long after her playing days are over.
For me, there is no greater honor than to be called "influential" by the girls I've coached. I cannot force my philosophy or values on anyone, but when a girl adopts it willingly, it means that I have truly made a difference. I wrote down something Erin said in her introduction, because it seemed to hit the nail on the head.
She said, and I quote, "I consider Coach Curry to be one of the most positive influences in my life." If you're in doubt about how much to apply discipline today, imagine one of your own girls saying, years later, that she considers you one of the most positive influences in her life. Could you be any prouder?
Thank you for having me this year at your coaching school.
Coach Mary Curry is available for lectures and motivational speeches. To arrange for her participation in a future engagement, please contact her assistant, Bethany Yammerschmidt, in care of the Athletic Department of Eastern State University, U.S.A.

(c) Bared Affair  (##)
February 2003 Issue

    You're a mother, an aunt, a stepmom, a teacher or even an old-school governess or baby-sitter responsible for one or more rambunctious young ladies. Or, you're a teenager or college-aged woman being reared in a traditional household. Is there no magazine that addresses your own special interests?
    Au contraire! Bared Affair, the periodical for old-fashioned ladies and the modern-minded girls in their care, is the magazine for you! With stories on such important topics as the most effective spanking techniques, how to "dress your best" when you're due for punishment, and the psychological aspects of bare-bottom discipline, you'll find everything you need, every month, in this groundbreaking publication.
    Read Bared Affair . . . because you care!
Bared Affair can be found on the Spanking Memories web site, the FFspankingstories Yahoo group, and the BaredAffair mailing list. It is a spoof publication that contains F/f (or F/F) spanking fantasies and is purely for the enjoyment of its readership. Any resemblance with real people, living or dead, is unintentional or is solely meant as satire. Please do not believe anything you read on the Internet.
Shopper Admits to Ulterior Motives
A mother confides to Bared Affair that she is not purchasing kitchenware to use on the bottoms of her pans.
Reprinted from The Penny Advertiser
LONDON -- This week 35-year-old shopper Kate Phillips of East Acton admitted to ulterior motives when purchasing a kitchen utensil at a West London Tesco.
Ms Phillips, mother of 13-year-old Theresa ("Tess") Phillips, admitted that stirring batter was actually not what she had in mind in purchasing a 16-inch long plastic device, essentially a flat kitchen spoon with an oval-shaped hole in the middle.
She was spotted in a kitchenware aisle testing this and several spatulas and wooden spoons by smacking them against her thigh when she thought no one was around.
"Well, I'm at my wit's end with my daughter," Ms Phillips, a registered nurse, confided. "Lately she just won't listen to a thing I say, and quite frankly I've about had it."
The Limits of Grounding
She went on to remark that in recent months alternative means of punishment have failed with alarming frequency.
"Grounding's become a big joke!" Ms Phillips remonstrated. "I tell her she can't go out for the week and the moment I turn my back she does it anyway. Then I ground her some more and she disobeys again! What am I supposed to do, ground her indefinitely? Just for once I'd like to back it up with a damn good spanking."
As an example, Ms Phillips suggested that if her daughter disobeyed and left the house when she was supposed to be grounded, a sound spanking would be an appropriate response. Other likely causes included her daughter making secret liaisons with friends when she was supposed to be grounded, and telling her mother she could "sod it" when informing her of being grounded.
'Just for once I'd like to back it up with a damn good spanking,' the mother said.

"In fact," Ms Phillips added, "she's grounded right now, and I'll bet that right at this moment she has her friend over, even though she knows perfectly well that isn't allowed when she's grounded. I told her I'd be out the whole afternoon so she'd think it safe for a few hours. But I really plan on heading home straight away, and if I find she's had friends over she's going to get it. She promised me she wouldn't, but trust me, I can tell when she's up to something. The one thing I just can't put up with is dishonesty, you know what I mean?"
Questioned about the origins of Tess' deceitfulness, Ms Phillips responded, "I just don't understand how at such a young age someone can be so manipulative. Where do they get these ideas? Just the other week I caught her lying so she could get away with something, and that's why she's grounded now.
"I found this real disgusting CD by this short rapper with blond hair that's shaved almost all off and tattoos all over his body. And he uses the most horrendous language you could imagine. Well, I told Tess that I was taking it away, but then you know what she did? She went behind my back to her friend who has the same disgusting CD and they made a copy on her computer. Did you know you can do that these days? Then she put it inside an old Spice Girls case. I know because now I go through all her stuff when she's at school.
"Boy, you should have seen her expression when I held up the copy of the CD of the rapper who swears a lot. I told her that just for that I was grounding her for a week. She just said, 'Fine!' She said her friend Nadine has it all on some computer thingy and can make a copy of it any time. How do you win when kids today have access to technology like that? I think it's time we parents had some more tools at our disposal, too, and that's starting today!"
'Damned if you do, damned if you don't'
Ms Phillips then abruptly drew attention to the school system's culpability in today's state of affairs.
"Teachers aren't allowed to lay a hand on them, so they expect you to be able to sort everything out. And now they're talking about putting parents in jail when their kids go truant? Did you hear about that? First they strip away all means of discipline, and then they punish the parents. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
"Last month I'm pretty sure Tess bunked off for a day with her friends. If I ever find her playing truant in the future I can guarantee you that she'll be good and sorry. She'll have something to remember the next time she sits down in class. I'd rather take my chances with some traditional discipline on her hind-end than wait until I get charged by the police!"
The parent considered using a hairbrush, 'but they just don't make them like they used to.'

Though unable to specify exactly what a spanking leaving Tess "good and sorry" would consist of, Ms Phillips assured Bared Affair that with her new purchase, "I'll make sure it changes her attitude. Trust me, when she gets up she won't want another one anytime soon. That's for sure."
When asked if she would spank her daughter on the bare bottom, Ms Phillips replied, "I don't know about that. I think I might just make her pull down her trousers and spank her on her knickers. Last time, about a year ago, I tried spanking her with my hand over her jeans and it didn't seem very effective."
Hence the reason for today's purchase. But were there no other effective implements at home, Bared Affair wondered?
"Would you believe that when I went through the kitchen drawers I found that we don't have a single proper wooden spoon?" Ms Phillips noted. "Since I went back to work full time I guess I don't get round to doing that much cooking. I thought about using a hairbrush, but they just don't make them like they used to. Mine has such a flimsy plastic handle it looks like it would break off on the first smack. Can you imagine how embarrassing that would be? Sitting there with your daughter over your lap holding a broken handle of a hairbrush before the spanking had really even begun? Then what would you do?"
She noted that she anticipates no such problems with her latest acquisition.
"Look, it's made of a very solid type of plastic and has a real thick handle. In fact you could probably use the handle to spank with if the other end didn't seem to be working," she remarked, examining the three-ounce piece of moulded plastic-graphite carefully. "I don't think you could design a better tool for the parental tool box, you know what I mean?"
Sending a Firm Message
Ms Phillips acknowledges that not everyone today agrees with the approach that she intends to adopt.
"You tell the gals at work that you sometimes smack your kid's bottom and some of them look at you like you're a monster or something," she observed. "But they don't understand how difficult it is when you're a single mum to try and raise a kid who just won't listen to anything you say. And it's usually the ones who don't have any kids who act so self-righteous. Just wait till they have kids of their own.
"I know that these days, when kids are even suing their teachers for given them detentions, it's not the most popular thing to do, but if you ask most mothers I'm sure they'll admit that sometimes there's no choice but to send a firm message to your child's behind when nothing else works.
"A few weeks ago I was visiting this woman who taught crafts lessons at her home, and her children always listened to her the first time, and they always said 'please' and 'thank-you,' and I just couldn't believe how nice and polite they were. Then she told me that she spanks her children whenever they disobey. Then suddenly everything made sense. I think I've waited far too long, to be honest," Ms Phillips concluded, as she placed her new "parenting tool" back in her shopping bag and headed for her car.
She also admitted that the tissue paper, deodorant, toothpaste, and loaf of bread also in her shopping bag had merely been purchased so as not to raise suspicion about why someone would go to a supermarket solely to purchase a stirring stick.
Ed Horrell, assistant manager of kitchenware at the suburban supermarket, noted that sales of wooden spoons, spatulas, and like implements have remained constant over the past decade even though sales of other kitchenwares have fallen.
"It would seem that women are doing a lot less cooking these days," Mr Horrell explained. "They just buy the frozen food and microwave stuff. But they still buy a lot of wooden spoons. I've noticed that they tend to take much more care in selecting them than they would for, say, wisks or can openers. It also seems that the longer they take in the selection process the larger and sturdier the model they pick. It's all rather odd."

(c) Bared Affair  (##)
February 2003 Issue

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Emile Zola's L'Assommoir
A heart-pounding scene from Zola's first widely-read novel.
Selected and annotated by Angie "Heart"
Emile Zola was one of the most popular French authors of the 19th century, particularly because of his championship of the middle and lower classes. Although his readers tended to come from the educated minority, his stories touched hearts of all ranks, and he was instrumental in changing the consciousness of the French public.
L'Assommoir: The Story
In Zola's parable of the travails of the working class poor, our heroine, Gervaise, must battle an exploitative economic system in which she is burdened by numerous disadvantages. Her lover of many years, Lantier, has just abandoned her with two small boys in a Paris slum. She has no advanced skills, having been a laundress back home in Plassans (Aix-en-Provence), and her provincial ways only earn her scorn from city-dwellers. She is slightly lame, afflicted with a limping leg. Above all, Zola implies, her curse is being a woman who has no father, husband or brother to protect her.
Thus she must learn to protect herself. Despite lingering feelings for the man who deserted her (the father of her children, no less!), she goes on to marry another for practical reasons rather than amorous ones. After marriage she continues to earn enough to be self-sufficient, setting up her own laundry shop.
But the story turns unhappy, then bitter, as one tragedy after another befalls Gervaise and her family. Her husband is incapacitated by a work-related accident, followed by his slow self-destruction to alcoholism. Gervaise becomes the sole breadwinner and caretaker not only for her husband, her sons, and their young daughter, but also for various other family members, including a green-eyed sister-in-law. The daughter, Nana, who was so lovely as a baby, grows into adolescence to become particularly naughty (or "vicieuse," as the more colorful French word describes her).
Sadly trusting of someone she should not, her life spirals downward from there. Zola paints a grim moral tale not only of the dangers of poverty, vice and alcohol, but also of the shameful indifference by the educated middle class toward lives in the slums.
Gervaise's daughter will grow up to become a high-class prostitute and title character in a later Zola novel, Nana. Bonjour tristesse.
The Scene
Very early in the book, immediately after a fight with Lantier, Gervaise has angrily taken her laundry out to the neighborhood wash-house to clean it.
The Characters
A few additional words are needed for Gervaise. At this point, she is 22, still unmarried and already her first child is eight years old. Zola describes her as a wispy-haired blonde and "tall, rather thin, with fine features, though already drawn: she had had a hard life."
And yet, she is in the prime of her life. Having worked as a laundress back in her birthplace as younger girl, she is strong, and she knows how to a use her hands. She has "a blonde's fine arms, still young and only slightly reddened at the elbows." An observer looks on and is "amazed by the force Gervaise was putting behind each stroke" as she beats her soapy laundry clean. "What a wench!" the observer thinks. "Those little lady's arms of hers: she could flatten an iron with them!"  
Gervaise's adversary is Virginie, the sister of the woman she suspects of carrying on with her lover Lantier. The girl is also single and 22, but has no children. Zola writes that Virginie is "taller, dark and pretty, despite a rather long face. She was wearing an old black flounced dress and a red ribbon round her neck, and her hair was carefully brushed into a bun in a blue chenille net."
A minor character worth mentioning is Madame Boche, concierge of the building in which Gervaise, Lantier, Virginie and her sister all live. She inadvertently starts a fight between the two girls by stoking up Gervaise's anger and suspicions toward Virginie's sister -- "that slut Adele, who misses work two days out of three," as Mme Boche calls her.
The Build-Up
Virginie enters the wash-house with her own laundry as Gervaise and Mme Boche are working on theirs. Shortly thereafter, Gervaise learns from her two little children that Lantier, their father, has left them -- quite possibly with Virginie's sister.
Mme Boche says unkindly about Virginie, "She's laughing to see you cry, that heartless bitch over there. . . She packed the other two off and came down here to see how you were taking it."
In a fit of anger, Gervaise picks up a full bucket and hurls it at the taller woman. Only Virginie's button boots are splashed. Rather than responding in kind, she resorts to using the "Parisien gift of the gab," a skill that Gervaise, a country girl, had not mastered.
"'Yeah! Come over here and I'll take care of you! I tell you this, you'd have done better not to come bothering us. . .  What does she mean to me, the cow? I'd have given her backside a good tanning if she'd splashed me, I can tell you. . .'"
The argument dies down and they return to their wash. But a few moments later, Virginie picks it back up again. "Well, if you really want to know, yes, it was my sister," she says. "So he's left you with your bastards! . . . Oh, he's got some fine stories; he sick to death of your old carcass."
"Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!" Gervaise yells in respsonse. She picks up another tub of cleaning supplies, this one full of blue dye, and splashes Virginie's face, ruining her dress.
Battle is joined, with buckets of water -- soapy water, cold water, dye water, and finally, Virginie "tried a dirty trick" by throwing a bucket of boiling wash, in an effort to do real damage. Gervaise manages to avoid being scalded, and responds by hurling an empty bucket at Virginie's knees, striking her down.
Hand-to-hand fighting ensues.
The Extract
L'Assommoir (translated roughly as "The Dram Shop," or "The Low Pub"), pages 28 - 31. Trans. Robin Buss, Penguin Books, paperback, published 2000.
    Virginie had just pounced on Gervaise and got her by the neck: she was wringing her throat, trying to strangle her. Gervaise gave a violent heave and shook herself free, then grasped Virginie's hair, hanging on to it as though trying to pull off her head. Battle resumed, in silence, without a cry or a curse. They did not wrestle body to body, but went for one another's faces with open hands and hooked fingers, pinching and scratching whatever they could grasp. The tall girl's red ribbon and blue chenille band were torn off and her bodice ripped at the neck, revealing a whole naked shoulder, while the blonde Gervaise, disheveled, missing one sleeve of her white shift (though she didn't know how), had a tear in her chemise that revealed the cleavage of her bosom.
[Mayhem ensues. Virginie draws blood, then Gervaise. Mme Boche tries in vain to get someone to help her break them up. Virginie then makes a fatal mistake: she picks up a beetle, one of the flat rods that are used to beat the wash.]
    The struggle meanwhile was continuing on the ground. Suddenly, Virginie got up on her knees. She had just picked up a beetle and was waving it over her head. Her voice had altered, to a harsh snarl.
    "So that's what you want, is it? Get your dirty clothes ready, then."
    Gervaise quickly reached out and took another wooden beetle for herself and held it up like a club. Her voice, too, was hoarse.
    "So, you want a full wash, do you? I'll have your skin for dishcloths!"
    For an instant, they stayed there, kneeling, threatening one another. Their hair hanging down over their faces, panting, muddied, swollen, they watched and waited, pausing to catch their breath. Gervaise made the first move, her stick catching Virginie across the shoulder. Then she dodged to one side to avoid the counter, which just caught her hip. Now, once started, they set to work, beating one another as washerwomen beat their clothes, roughly and rhythmically. When one did strike home, the noise was muffled, like a blow struck in a full tub of water.
    Around them, the women were no longer laughing. Several had left, saying that they were sickened by it, while the rest, those who had stayed behind, were craning their necks, their eyes lit with a cruel glint, considering that the girls were putting on a great show. Mme Boche had taken [Gervaise's sons] Claude and Etienne away and, from the far end, they could be heard sobbing over the loud thumps of the two beetles.
    Suddenly, Gervaise let out a yell. Virginie had just struck her with full force on her naked arm, above the elbow. A red mark appeared and the arm immediately started to swell. At this, she hurled herself forward; the spectators thought she was going to beat the other woman's brains out.
    "Stop! Stop!" they shouted.
    The look on her face was so dreadful that no one dared go near. With redoubled strength, she grasped Virginie round the waist and bent her double, her face pressed against the stone floor and her bottom in the air. And, despite the other's struggles, she pulled her skirts right up. Underneath, she was wearing bloomers. Gervaise put her hand into the gap and tore them off, revealing everything: naked thighs, naked bottom. Then, raising her beetle, she started to beat her, as she used to beat the linen once in Plassans, by the River Viorne, when she was employed by a woman who did washing for the troops. The wooden stick thumped into the flesh with a muffled sound. At each blow, a red stripe marbled the white skin.
    "Oh! Oh!" Charles [a wash-house servant boy] muttered, wide-eyed with astonishment.
    There was a fresh outburst of laughter, but soon the shout of: "Stop! Stop!" was resumed. Gervaise, tireless, deaf to the cries, carried on with her work, bending over, examining what she was doing, determined not to leave a single spot dry. She wanted all this skin to be beaten and covered with confusion. And, feeling a savage kind of joy, she talked out loud, remembering an old washerwoman's song:
      "Thump! Thump! Maggie does her washing. . .
       Thump! Thump! Gives the clothes a thrashing. . .
       Thump! Thump! And her heart is breaking. . .
       Thump! Thump! Feels all black and aching. . ."

    And in between: "This one's for you, this one's for your sister, this one's for Lantier. . . When you see them next, pass it on. . . Hang on! I'm not done yet. This one's for Lantier, this one's for your sister, this one's for you. . .
      "Thump! Thump! Maggie does her washing. . .
       Thump! Thump! Gives the clothes a thrashing. . ."

    They had to drag Virginie away from her. The tall dark-haired girl, tears streaming down her face, purple with shame, picked up her washing and ran. She was well and truly beaten. Meanwhile, Gervaise was pulling her arm back in the sleeve of her shift and tying up her skirt.
[Gervaise leaves with her two small children and Mme Boche. The scene ends with the washer-women discussing the fight.]
    After she had gone, the wash-house reverted to its usual sound -- like a vast lock on a canal. The women had eaten their bread and drunk their wine, so they beat all the harder, their faces lit up with merriment at the dust-up between Gervaise and Virginie. All along the tubs there was a renewed thrashing of arms, and the angular profiles of puppets bent double, with twisted shoulders, bending jerkily as though on hinges.

This scene is among the most powerful in all of Zola's books. It certainly gets L'Assommoir off to a heart-pounding start -- if this were a movie, the tanning of poor Virginie's bare bottom would have been over and done with in the first ten minutes.
The scene serves to establish the character and strength of Gervaise. Rather than slinking off under the insults of her rival's sister, she rises to the occasion and responds in kind. Zola makes it clear that it is Virginie who constantly turns up the pressure -- first by assassinating her character, then by attempting to drench her in scalding water, and finally by her ill-advised decision to do battle with beetles. It is satisfying that Virginie is treated to the child-like punishment she deserves.
Interestingly, L'Assommoir was made into a play in 1881, and the playwrites, sensing the inherent drama of this fight, put it in a different place in the action. Instead of appearing early on, as in the novel, the scene occurs much later in the play. Moreover, in the play, Virginie is not the sister of the woman who stole Lantier away -- in the adaptation, she is the one responsible for taking Gervaise's man.
The scene itself was considered quite a dubious undertaking when the play was being written. (Several drama critics scoffed that the spanking scene would be impossible to stage.) Zola himself was very impressed with the results, although he declared himself unhappy that the playwrites had tinkered with the sequencing.
Other thoughts come to mind. Virginie makes an interesting threat early on in the confrontation -- she will give Gervaise's behind "a good tanning" for the insolence of heaving a bucket of water at her. And it is Gervaise who makes good on Virginie's threat to tan a bottom. The girls themselves, and the women who watch, see nothing out of the ordinary in one woman attacking another the way a mother would deal with a miscreant daughter. It's impossible to imagine two men settling a fight that way!
Secondly, there is a burst of laughter at the beginning of the bare-bottom paddling, though in my imagination I can't see anything to laugh about once a strong washer-woman has landed her first hard blow against another girl's bare skin. It sounds as if this is something of a universal reaction to spanking, or perhaps it had something to do with the amusement of seeing a big girl (Virginie was quite tall, after all) being taken down a peg in the time-honored way.
Zola makes at least two direct statements about the washerwomen's hunger for -- even enjoyment of -- the public spectacle of corporal punishment. (Hence, Bared Affair readers need not feel they're all alone in our feelings.) The first mention is the spectators' "eyes lit with a cruel glint" as they watch the fight progress. And in the scene's coda, we see that the women's faces were "lit up with merriment" as they talked afterward. Zola subtly but unmistakably has the washerwomen reenact the spanking in the way they beat their laundry: Virginie's experience is captured in "the angular profiles of puppets bent double" whose bodies are twisted and jerking as if reacting to a painful thrashing.
And finally, the relative acceptance of settling things through beating brings to mind that it was only in the last century that the lower class, servants generally, could work without fear of being thrashed for mistakes. Certainly in 19th Century Europe, I would think that it was not uncommon for an unfortunate girl to get bruised by whatever her boss, master or mistress had handy to use.
Although the thorough tanning of Virginie's bare bottom sounds quite rough, I think she would have preferred it to risking broken bones, smashed-in teeth, as a man might have given her. I certainly would have preferred a spanking. "Please, Gervaise, not on the bare! . . . Here, let me help you." :)
Angie is Bared Affair's editrix-in-chief. She lives in the western part of the United States with her husband and her cat.

(c) Bared Affair  (##)
February 2003 Issue

News In Brief
From schools in England, Jamaica and Florida (U.S.A.)
A Bared Affair newswire wrap-up
Was it or Wasn't It -- Britain's Last Legal School Spanking?
MANCHESTER, U.K. (Bared Affair Exclusive) -- Monique Strachen, age 18, and Andrea Bennett and June Wilkonson, both 19 years of age, were fifth-form pupils in 1999 when they were witnesses to what was perhaps the last legal act of school corporal punishment in the UK, at their independent, fundamentalist school.
According to June Wilkonson, teacher Molly Slea was becoming increasingly annoyed with pupils in her all-girls maths class as she helped them with revision for their impending GCSE examination.
"It was the end of the year and we were real giddy and stuff," explained Wilkonson. "Mrs Slea started off OK but then started to get really miffed because we kept trying to take the micky out of everything she was saying. She held up a big wooden compass and said that the next person to act up would get a good whack. The compass was wood with two long legs that [were] over a foot long, for drawing on the blackboard. We weren't really sure if she was joking or serious."
Though such an act would not (yet) have been illegal under parliamentary statute, it may have been contrary to the regulations for corporal punishment at Bradford Christian Academy (BCA). However, it appears as though no one is exactly certain what these regulations were.
June and Andrea explained that punishment of the type meted out by Mrs Slea to older girls was practically unheard of. Andrea proceeded to describe the events of the fateful June afternoon as she saw -- and felt -- them.
"Well, after we still didn't settle down Mrs Slea just seemed to lose the plot and called me and another girl, Grace Woods, to the front of the class," Andrea began.
"She had the compass in her hand and told us to put our hands on her desk and lean over. I remember thinking to myself 'are you, like, serious?', but we did it anyway. And then, before I had time to think I hear a big whack as she whacks Gracie and then as I'm about to turn round she whacks me!"
"You should have seen them," June exclaimed. "They, like, totally weren't expecting it like that. And Andrea let out this big 'ahhh!' after she got hit."
One student thought 'it was pretty funny' to see her friends 'getting spanked like little girls.'

"But that thing really hurt!" Andrea countered. "Those wooden legs are really heavy and I swear that Slea put everything into it. I'm serious, that thing doesn't half sting."
Monique explained that she thought "it was pretty funny to see Andrea and Gracie getting spanked like little girls."
"Speak for yourself," said Andrea. "You're the one who always tried to start everyone acting silly. That should of been you up there, not us."
"Oh, did your bottom hurt?" asked Monique, making a markedly pouting expression with her face.
"Yes, as a matter of fact it did," stated Andrea emphatically. "There was a big red mark there for the rest of the day," she finished, pointing at the side of her posterior.
"Oh, did poor, little Andrea get a spanking for something she didn't deserve?" Monique inquired further, continuing to use a tone of voice ordinarily reserved for small children and stupid animals.
At this Andrea simply raised her middle finger with a feigned scowl and then reached for her packet of cigarettes, behaviour that her friends say has become typical of her attempt to rebel against her strict Christian upbringing.
Bared Affair tried to reach Mrs Slea for comment, but she has since retired with her husband, a dentist, to Korea, where they do part-time volunteer work for Soul-saving Pentecostal Asian Neo-mission, Korea, an evangelical missionary society. Slea now teaches morality lessons at Living Word Christian School for Girls in Pusan. At least three of her former British pupils strongly suspect that she still has her wooden compass.
Study Reveals Economic Benefits of Spanking Schoolgirls
KINGSTON, JAMAICA ( -- A study conducted by the Amalgamated Assurance Society of the Caribbean showed that girls' schools that still employ the cane or strap save an average of 13,670 Jamaican dollars per student in reduced operating expenses.
When aggregated across all 42 of the nation's schools that subscribe to corporal punishment, the AAS estimated that the savings topped JAM$60,000,000 (US$1.1mm) per year. The annual budget for all Jamaican schools, including those that do not allow spanking, is JAM$4 billion.
"There are numerous opportunities for savings," said Dr. Lenora Holmes, chief actuary for AAS's property and casualty division. "Reduced maintenance costs alone account for tens of million dollars worth of savings." Dr. Holmes explained that there is a markedly decreased rate of vandalism in schools that enforce discipline by punishing backsides, rather than through detention, suspension or expulsion.
"You would think," said Dr. Holmes, "that these schools would actually incur additional expenses on the whole, what with the need to hire headmistresses and teaching staff who are licensed and trained to properly handle corrective implements." However, she added, the study found that such staff were generally willing to take positions in schools at or below the market rate for compensation.
"The upshot," concluded Dr. Holmes, "is that even with added costs of the implements themselves, these schools spend less time and money controlling and cleaning up after the trouble-makers, and more money focusing on why students are there in the first place: learning and discipline."
'These schools spend less time and money controlling and cleaning up after the trouble-makers,' the study's author said.

Katie Winthrope, Student Liaison for the Jamaican Campaign to Abolish the Cane, disputed the study's claims.  "It's simply pro-corporal punishment propaganda. They probably didn't even include the costs of indemnity insurance." She noted that Jamaican law requires schools to carry a higher level of insurance when they employ the cane or strap.
"I'll bet," added Miss Winthrope, "that if you follow the money, somebody from the Save Our Schools Foundation is mixed up in all this." The SOS Foundation is an organization of religious educators who lobby for and raise awareness of the right to employ corporal punishment. As Bared Affair revealed in an expose last year, SOS is funded, in large part, by the Kirby Cane and Paddle Company of Walla Walla, U.S.A.
A spokeswoman for the SOS Foundation declined to comment.
Schoolgirls Stage 'Stand-Up Strike' in Protest of Unfair Punishment
PENSACOLA (Florida), U.S.A. (The Weekly Panhandler) -- On the three-month anniversary of an unprecedented apology from the principal of Graham High school for the unjustified paddling of eight sophomore girls, several classes were upset and nearly shut down by a "stand-up strike" on the part of about 50 of the school's 300 students.
Alice Longley, 17, speaking on behalf of the group of mostly girls, said they were protesting the mistaken paddling and advocating a radical change to the school's disciplinary code. "Since our sisters were not able to sit down following their ordeal, we intend to join them," she said. "We will refuse to sit in class until school corporal punishment is outlawed for girls."
In addition, members of the Progressive Women's Alliance at nearby Mary Monroe College staged similar protests in solidarity.
Ironically, said school administrators, school rules allow a paddling of up to six strokes for the behavior of the protesting students, if it is considered to be "sustained and deliberate disturbance of classroom conduct." However, none of the "stand-up strike" protesters received physical discipline.
"We have chosen to view this as an orderly act of free speech on the girls' part," said school principal "Dot" Denbridge. "The only outcome of their behavior was an assignment to all students to write an essay on the First Amendment."
Not all parents were as understanding as the school's principal. "Yes, when I found out she was mixed up in all of this, I sent her out to cut a peach switch," said Miss Longley's mother, Mrs. Carol Longley. "I have no doubt that she'll want to be 'standing up' for the next few days after the whipping I gave her."
Reached following her ordeal with the switch, Alice Longley was defiant. "I don't care if we get punished every day for this. We're going to continue to engage in civil disobedience until paddling is outlawed in school."
Several other protesters were also spanked at home, according to reports.
Alissa Mathers, daughter of Graham High School disciplinarian Samantha Mathers, was seen at the protests, but at press time it was unable to be determined whether her first amendment activities had led to further recriminations at home. Alissa's younger brother Bobby asked one reporter to call back in a week. "How much I tell you depends on how nice she is to me for the next few days," he said.

(c) Bared Affair  (##)
February 2003 Issue

    SECTION 401: Canada
    FEMALE COLLEGE PROFESSOR SEEKS LIVE-IN assistant for research purposes. Women only, please, preferably 30 and younger. Compensation: free room and board; coverage on my health plan; attend up to two classes per semester at a renowned Toronto University; small stipend (my research grant is tiny). Responsibilities: recruit volunteers and participate in experiments on my main topic of study, the physics of corporal punishment. Experiments cover such topics as the degree to which wetting the skin surface makes a paddle or other flat instrument increase in intensity; whether spanking hurts more or less when punished on an empty stomach; and the styles and fabrics of underwear that "hold the heat" most efficiently after discipline. Must apply in person. Box 9876
    CANADIAN CAREER WOMAN, single, mother always "on the go," needs one or more part-time nannies for my girls, aged 18 and 16. Though older than most you may have dealt with, they are a handful, especially now that one can drive. Only old-fashioned ladies need apply -- I'm a firm believer in strict oversight, control and discipline in a loving environment. Box 5432
Letters to the Editor
Reader reflections on the magazine's first issue.
Dear Bared Affair:
When I first saw your article on the connections between corporal punishment and relieving depression ("Spanking Away the Blues," issue 1.01, Oct. 2002), I thought it was some sort of parody. I was shocked when I got into the article and found that it was based on an actual study! I have written to Professor Mitchell to obtain documentation on her protocol and participants, and in the meantime I can only conclude that she engaged in shameless pseudo-science at the behest of the Disciplinary-Industrial Complex. Goodness gracious! How many studies have there been that shows a direct correlation between spanking and depression? And you would have us believe that it has the opposite effect? Somebody's trying to pull our leg.
Burlington, U.S.A.

The writer is the co-author, with Murray Strass, of "To Beat the Devil -- The effects of corporal punishment in religious households."
*  *  *
Dear Bared Affair:
Thank you! Already your article on spanking and teenaged depression has helped changed my life. Although I do not live with my parents, being a full-time college student, I make a point of returning home at least twice a month with "doctor's orders" for my mother: to put me over her knee. It was difficult at first, but it's becoming a genuine cure for the homesickness and malaise that gripped me during my first semester away from my family. I hate the spanking while it's going on (and who doesn't?), but when it's over I feel safe and loved. I have my dear Mom to thank for that, and I thank you for publishing on what I'm sure must have been a controversial topic.
Sacramento, U.S.A.

*  *  *
Dear Bared Affair:
I read that there is another study, regarding the effectiveness of spanking on depressed women in their twenties. Can you tell me if this is going to happen, and how I can get involved, either as a research subject or as one who "assists" the women in their treatment?
Dorval, Canada

P.S. Allez-vous publier en français à l'avenir?
Editor's response: Yes. The closest researchers to you are located at the Université de Quebec à Montreal. P.S. Peut-être. Sois sage, petite chou, on vera.
Hot Teachers
Dear Bared Affair:
Thank you for the complimentary educator's copy. Sadly, a key point of view is missing from your article titled "Hot For Teacher" (issue 1.01, Oct. 2002): the disciplinarian's. I have taught sixth formers at a religious school for 12 years now, and it is not difficult for me to recognize when one of my students is infatuated. While this is perfectly normal, I consider it to be my duty to let her down gently but firmly. When spanking was permitted, if I recognized a girl's crush, I refused to punish her myself for any transgressions, but always referred her to the guidance counselor or headmistress for her thrashing. It is the only responsible thing to do.
Edinburgh, U.K.

Short and Sweet
Dear Bared Affair:
Great job! I love the one about the 15 year old who was late for math ("A Painful Way to Learn" in issue 1.01, October 2002). As an old saying goes, "better her than me."

*  *  *
What a lot of work -- a true labor of love. This is great!

*  *  *
For all of those involved, the first issue of Bared Affair was beyond great. Now that I've read it, I can say that all of the efforts were superlative.

*  *  *
This is amazing! I'm speechless. I enjoyed reading it very much and would love to read any future issues as well!

*  *  *
This was really first class -- I don't know how you did it. Will be a regular reader from now on!

*  *  *
Our entire Upper Sixth class enjoyed your spoof, especially because it featured an article in India! ("Indian Mothers Agree" in issue 1.01, Oct. 2002.) Thank you!
"SARITA" (an English teacher in Mumbai)
via private e-mail

*  *  *
I can't believe how much work you put into this. All the effort was very worthwhile, however. Excellent!

*  *  *
Your whole team did a marvelous job!

*  *  *
This was great. Much better than The Times.  I will cancel my newspaper immediately.

Spanking in Pensacola Schools
Dear Bared Affair:
I am writing on behalf of a majority of the 27 members of the Progressive Women's Alliance of Mary Monroe College in Northern Florida, whose names are furthermore added below, in order by astrological sign, to register our support for the girls of Graham High School, who we refer to as the "Graham Eight," whose unfair and unjustified spanking you covered in last month's issue ("We Goofed, Says Principal" in issue 1.01, Oct 2002). In the words of the motion that a majority of us agreed to, "As long as there is a paddle in school classrooms, there will be unjust paddling."
and 18 others
Mary Monroe College
Pensacola (Florida), U.S.A.

The writer is "Peace Coordinator" for the Progressive Women's Alliance of Mary Monroe College.
*  *  *
Dear Bared Affair:
As a mother and a taxpayer in the Florida school system, I am appalled at the degree of kowtowing to children these days, including in your very publication. Kids misbehave, kids should be punished -- at school as well as at home. So somebody made a mistake and paddled eight girls for something they didn't do. Is this worthy of a 1500-word article in a major magazine? I think not. Back when I was growing up, it was called "building character."
Jacksonville (Florida), U.S.A.

The writer is a member of her local school board.
Panties vs. Boxers: Arbitrary?
Dear Bared Affair:
Boy am I glad I don't live in your fashion editor's house! Her article on panties ("Victim Fashions: Underwear," issue 1.01, Oct. 2002) makes her sound awfully conservative. Personally, I prefer to wear boxer shorts because they feel nice and loose, and I think some people are too uptight about girls wearing clothing designed for boys. It's an arbitrary distinction, in my mind. If Martha Madison were my aunt, I'd find out soon enough if the spanking she promised for "bad fashion sense" was just an idle threat.
Essex, U.K.

*  *  *
Dear Bared Affair:
Well, it looks like the article on panties turned out to be a big success, even if I felt at the time that it was at my bottom's expense. I am hereby reapplying for the job of Marketing Intern. Please accept my apologies for my rash and premature resignation.
JULIE JONES, Carolina Commonwealth U.
Charleston, U.S.A.

*  *  *
Dear Bared Affair:
What does your fashion editor have against thongs? She wrote a whole article about underwear and the "th"-word never shows up even once. Are we, like, still in the 1970's or something? Half your readers weren't even alive in the 70's!
Vancouver, Canada

Martha Madison, Bared Affair fashion editor, replies: I presumed that any girl with half a brain would know that thongs are a thoroughly ridiculous topic for study, since they provide absolutely no protection when one is being spanked over them. My mistake was in making the assumption that all of our readers have half a brain.
International, My Foot!
Dear Bared Affair:
And you call yourself a global publication? Your feature called "International Incident" (issue 1.01, Oct. 2002), about the case of sibling rivalry that caused a Scottish child-minder to spank an Australian girl, is nothing more than two "sisters" of the British Empire in a spat. So what if it caused a diplomatic uproar? Mother, the Queen, will surely smooth things over, using whatever methods required to restore order. But what about true global issues, such as the destruction of the rain forests by parents who insist on ripping branches off trees to punish their daughters, or the shameful celebration of flagellation among teenagers in certain African cultures? I'd like to see you take a greater interest in the non-English-speaking world. Where are the women of color?
New York University, U.S.A.

Editor's note: It sounds like you missed several other articles in the first issue, including one from India and another from Kenya. Nonetheless, thank you for your feedback.
*  *  *
Dear Bared Affair:
Thank you for the attention, but next time I'd appreciate it if you would have found a better photograph of me to include in your news article about my Scottish nanny. That school snapshot makes me look like a real brat. And it wasn't even me who got spanked!
Perth, Australia

Two Views on Lara King
Dear Bared Affair:
I was delighted to find your magazine on a back magazine rack at the local hair salon. Congratulations on an excellent first issue. As a girl whose spankings were conducted in the most caring manner possible, I appreciate the whole tone of "Bared Affair" -- it strokes a lot of fond memories. I especially liked Lara King's column ("Thoughts and Notions" in issue 1.01, Oct. 2002). Will she be a regular contributor?

*  *  *
Dear Bared Affair:
Please tell me that Lara King was trying to make fun of herself. I don't know if I've ever been more embarrassed about my fellow man (my fellow girl?) than when I read her column. She seems snide and senile at the same time. Are you sure she's not just her father in drag?
San Francisco, U.S.A.

Editor's note: Yes, we're sure. And in response to several comments, Lara King will be an occasional contributor to this magazine, but she will not have a regular column.
Ask and Ye Shall Receive
Dear Bared Affair:
Your magazine disappoints me because it does not live up to its potential as a tool for busy mothers. My two daughters are almost ready to graduate from high school, making them just big enough to really cause trouble, but as a divorced mom I don't have as much time as I'd like to keep my eye on them. Not only are you missing articles on the difficulty of "spanking on the go," but your lack of "Help Wanted" or "Position Wanted" ads for nannies and governesses means that my girls are without a remedy for their naughty ways. Please correct this deficiency in the future.
Lethbridge, Canada

Editor's note: In response to notes from Ms Henning and several others, we are beginning to run a selection of advertisements in the current issue.
Letters should be fictional, as brief as possible, and should relate directly to a Bared Affair issue or article. To write to the editor for publication, please send e-mail to this address:
(Please include a statement that you are over 18 in real life. Thank you!)

(c) Bared Affair  (##)
February 2003 Issue

    Coming next month in Bared Affair!
    • The conclusion of our exclusive interview with Mrs Vivienne Hobson, the founder of a successful chain of ladies' spanking schools
    • Confession: Is it as good for the soul as it is bad for the bottom?
    • Robert Desnos: A classic F/f scene from a Dadaist text
    • How to deal with bigger girls when it comes time to spank
    • More news, more reviews and exclusive features!

Bared Affair can be found on Spanking Memories, the FFspankingstories Yahoo group, and the BaredAffair mailing list. It is a spoof publication that contains F/f (or F/F) spanking fantasies and is purely for the enjoyment of its readership. Any resemblance with real people, living or dead, is unintentional or is solely meant as satire. Please do not believe anything you read on the Internet.
All Bared Affair material is Copyright 2002, 2003 by the authors, who retain full rights to the writing herein.

Honey I'm Home

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Re: Bared Affair issue #1.02 -- spoof F/f 'zine
« Reply #1 on: Feb 14th, 2003, 12:02pm »
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Too long to read entirely right now ...
But very entertaining so far. Grin
So Kiss

Honey I'm Home

Buy DVD for as low as 8 dollars!!

Re: Bared Affair issue #1.02 -- spoof F/f 'zine
« Reply #2 on: Feb 14th, 2003, 12:59pm »
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Perfection Smiley
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